Beer Me, Greater

Cantrip

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Prerequisite: Brotacular relationship with Kord, Strength 15
Casting time: 1 bonus action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous

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An entire 2 gallon keg of Hetap brand lager will come soaring from the East at incredibly high speed. You catch it with flair. The keg is good for about ten pints, and each person who ingests a pint has advantage on Wisdom- and Constitution-related social activities for half an hour.

The keg also doubles as a melee weapon with attack bonus +X and damage bonus +Xd6, where X is the number of pints left in the keg. It smashes open if it'd be super flashy and awesome for that to happen, and loses 1d10 pints. The rest is still good!

The keg cannot be used as a weapon on anyone who's even a little bit brotastic (including bro-ettes) because that's just not cool, pal. If you try, you won't be able to follow through it, and you'll probably feel the tear Kord sheds watching you try. You might have beef with them, but that's like, your problem, man. Settle that stuff through talking, dude, hug it out, see a counsellor maybe. (See Power Sentence: Sorry Dude, That Wasn't Chill Of Me At All, Man.)