PUNgeons and Drag-Ons

Jeff Bezos, The Amazon Walker

Legends speak of a man who walks the Amazon rainforest in search of new prey, un-willing victims and good business deals. Mothers tell their children stories of the Amazon Walker who hunts during the night and takes children away from their families to work in his "fulfillment centres". People speak of a man who only appears in direct moonlight and appears from the ground below, burrowing with his widdle hands. He steals children and takes them back to his lair where he forces them to work a 9-5 job with no benefits and low salary.

Truly, a monster like no other.

Jeff Bezos's Lair

Jeff Bezos lives within the ruins of the Amazon headquarters, which is a multi-layed city block apartment. If you encounter Jeff Bezos within it's lair, it's CR becomes 29 (135,000 XP).

Lair Actions

On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), Jeff Bezos takes a lair action to cause one of the following effects; Jeff Bezos can’t use the same effect two rounds in a row:

  • Vines erupts from a point on the ground Jeff Bezos can see within 120 feet of it, creating a 20-foot-radius area. The area is considered difficult terrain and each creature in the area must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, or become restrained, on pass no effect.
  • A row of executives in business suits surround Jeff Bezos and grant him 30 temporary hit points.

Jeff Bezos

Medium human (humanoid), chaotic evil

  • Armor Class 20 (natural armour)
  • Hit Points 721 (25d20 + 355)
  • Speed 50 ft., burrow 60 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
29 (+9) 4 (-3) 30 (+10) 22 (+6) 22 (+6) 14 (+2)
  • Saving Throws Con +15, Int +12, Wis +12, Cha +8
  • Skills Perception +16, Athletics +19, Insight +16
  • Damage Resistances lightning
  • Damage Immunities legality, cold, thunder, bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage from non-magical weapons
  • Condition Immunities blinded, charmed, exhaustion, frightened, poisoned, restrained, incapacitated, prone
  • Senses Blindsight 30 ft., Tremorsense 120 ft., passive Perception 22
  • Languages undercommon, telepathy 120 ft.
  • Challenge 28 (120,000 XP)

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If Jeff Bezos fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Tunneler. Jeff Bezos can burrow through solid rock at half its burrow speed and leaves a 50-foot-diameter tunnel in its wake.

Siege Monster. Jeff Bezos deals double damage to objects and structures.

Actions

Multiattack: Jeff Bezos makes three attacks: one with his bite and two with his hands.

Slap. Melee Weapon Attack: +17 to hit, reach 100ft., one target. Hit 42 (5d12 + 9)

Bite.: Melee Weapon Attack: +17 to hit, reach 20 ft., one target. Hit: 45 (8d8 + 9) piercing damage plus an additional 14 (4d6) cold damage.

Amazon Breath (Recharge 6). Jeff Bezos exhales an eldritch blast in a 120-foot cone. Each creature in that ara must make a 20 DC Consitituion saving throw, taking 60 (15d8) force damage on a failed save, or half as much on a successful one.

Legendary Actions

Jeff Bezos can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Jeff Bezos regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Detect. Jeff Bezos sees all. None can escape his sight.

Slap Attack. Jeff Bezos slaps you!

Wall Attack (Costs 2 Actions). Jeff Bezos get angry! GRRRRRR

Regional Effects

  • People purchasing online products are more common within 6 miles of the Jeff Bezos's lair.
  • Chocolate elementals coalesce within 6 miles of the lair, a chocolate elemental have the same statistics of a chocolate elemental, except these elementals can’t leave the area and have Intelligence and Charisma scores of 1 (−5), which are under the command of Jeff Bezos.
  • No creatures aside from chocolate elementals willingly reside within 6 miles of the lair, as the feeling of dread overwhelm them. Jeff Bezos knows all.

If Jeff Bezos dies, these effects fade immediately.

Cat that Smells

This cat smells. Like that really bad wet cat smell mixed in with dirty clothes and a hint of cigarette smoke. Truly, this cat smells.

No one wants to be around this cat, because of..it's smell. It's trying to get people to pat it, but people can not stomach the horrid stench.

However, should a person actually pat the cat (Authors note: why would you do any of that?). The cat is pleased, and speaks to you about how pleased it is. The cat will then proceed to grant the user one wish.

Cat that Smells

Tiny beast, any good alignment

  • Armor Class 10 (natural armour)
  • Hit Points 100 (23d8 + 89)
  • Speed 30 ft., fly 30 ft. (hover)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
19 (+4) 14 (+2) 16 (+3) 25 (+7) 20 (+5) 18 (+4)
  • Saving Throws Con +10, Int +14, Wis +10
  • Skills Arcana +21, History +14, Insight +10, Perception +10
  • Damage Resistances cold, lightning, necrotic
  • Damage Immunities poison; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities Charmed, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Poisoned
  • Senses Truesight 120 ft., Passive Perception 19
  • Languages all, telepathy 120 ft.
  • Challenge 19 (22,000 XP)

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the cat creature fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Rejuvenation. If it has a phylactery, a destroyed cat gains a new body in 1d10 days, regaining all its hit points and becoming active again. The new body appears within 5 feet of the phylactery.

Spellcasting. The cat is-- what the f**k? It can cast Wish infinitely?

9th level (∞ slot): Wish

Actions

Meow.: Meow.

"Cow"

Moo.

Cow's Lair

Moo

Cow Actions

Moo

Cow.

Cow monstrosity (titan), unaligned

  • Armor Class 19 (Natural Armor)
  • Hit Points 1201 (50d20 + 318)
  • Speed 20 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
30 (+10) 13 (+1) 30 (+10) 22 (+6) 18 (+4) 20 (+5)
  • Saving Throws Str +17, Con +14, Int +13, Wis +11
  • Skills Perception +11
  • Damage Resistances milking
  • Damage Immunities mooing, lightning; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities frightened, paralyzed
  • Senses Truesight 120 ft., Passive Perception 14
  • Languages understands abyssal, celestial, infernal, and primordial but can't speak, telepathy 120 Ft.
  • Challenge 26 (90,000 XP)

Amphibious. The cow can breathe air and water.

Freedom of Movement. The cow ignores difficult terrain, and magical effects can't reduce its speed or cause it to be restrained. It can spend 5 feet of movement to escape from nonmagical restraints or being grappled.

Siege Monster. Cow.

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the cow fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Innate Spellcasting. The cow's innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 19, +12 to hit with spell attacks). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: milk bolt, ray of milk, scrying, milk breathing, milk walk

1/day each: earthquake, tsunami (of milk)

Actions

Multiattack. The cow makes three cow attacks, each of which it can replace with one use of moo.

Moo. The cow mooed...but nothing happened.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +17 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (3d8 + 10) piercing damage.

Hoove. Melee Weapon Attack: +17 to hit, reach 30 ft., one target. Hit: (3d6 + 10) bludgeoning damage. The target is grappled (escape DC 18) Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained.

Cow Storm. The Cow magically creates a storm of cows. Run for your life.

Legendary Actions

Cow can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Kraken regains spent legendary actions at the start of their turn.

Hoove or Moo The Cow makes one hoove attack or uses its moo.

Cow Storm (Costs 2 Actions). The cow uses Cow Storm.

Casts a Spell (Costs 3 Actions). The Cow casts a spell.

Regional Effects

  • Cows?
  • More Cows.
  • Cows.

When the cow dies...cows?

Five Kobolds in a Trenchcoat

It's five kobolds in a trenchcoat ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Honestly it's just a bunch of Kobolds who want to go to the movies and see...what's this...50 shades of Xanathar..? (R18 flick)

Unfortuantely, they are not clever enough to be able to figure out how human interaction works, right fello human? (Authors Note This is a normal human writing this entry, with normal..human things that I enjoy my time with).

Anyway, here's the stat block.

Five Kobolds in a Trenchcoat

medium guy, chaotic...?

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 7 (1d4 + 5)
  • Speed 25ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
9 (-1) 7 (-2) 12 (+1) 11 (+0) 13 (+1) 12 (+1)
  • Condition Immunities None
  • Senses passive Perception 12
  • Languages Common, Gibberish, Draconic
  • Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

Pack Tactics. These guys work together. Like super well, you don't even know.

What are you talking about?. A creature may attempt an insight check (DC 5) to discern the nature of this creature to see that it is five kobolds in a trenchcoat. If the creature fails the insight check, they don't realize that the creature is five kobolds in a trenchcoat and how dare you think otherwise!

Sassiness. When questioned, this creature will talk back instead of answering.

Actions

Weak Slap. Melee Weapon Attack: -1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage.

Should the Kobolds fall over from their trenchcoat, one of them will yell "Scatter", at which point they run into different random directions.

Five Dragonborns in a Trenchcoat

It's five dragonborns in a trenchcoat ¯_(ツ)_/¯

When the five chad dragonborns get really drunk on their orientation week, one of them has the crazy idea of going to Chad Strongwicks dragon mansion party. Unfortunately, only CR monsters 10 or higher can go to it.

One of the fellow chad dragonborns was like (while intoxicated) "Bro, I have this big ass trenchcoat, let's all jump in and hehehe and go."

This stat-block is the bad decisions of five drunk dragonborns.

Five Dragonborns in a Trenchcoat

large guy, chaotic...?

  • Armor Class 15
  • Hit Points 50 (10d6 + 20)
  • Speed 35ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
15 (+2) 7 (-2) 14 (+2) 12 (+1) 13 (+1) 12 (+1)
  • Condition Immunities None
  • Senses passive Perception 15
  • Languages Common, Gibberish, Draconic
  • Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Pack Tactics. These guys work together. Like super well, you don't even know.

What are you talking about?. A creature may attempt an insight check (DC 5) to discern the nature of this creature to see that it is five dragonborns in a trenchcoat. If the creature fails the insight check, they don't realize that the creature is five dragonborns in a trenchcoat and how dare you think otherwise!

Actions

Multiattack. The creature makes two slam attacks.

Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 8 (2d6 + 2) damage.

Fire Breath (Recharge 5-6). The creature exhales fire in a 15-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw, taking 24 (7d6) fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Should the Dragonborns fall over from their trenchcoat, one of them will yell "Scatter", at which point they run into different random directions.

"Tiamat" (Or five dragons in a Trenchcoat)

Tiamat invited five ancient red dragons over to snort some drugs.

Tiamat went to do another line of drugs but failed to notice that she was out of Legendary Resistances to pass, in which she fell into a coma.

The five dragons, who were over the moon high, had to fill the need of Tiamat when they started to hear prayers of thousands of people begin to enter into the chamber they were all residing within.

But being Chromatic dragons they are all prideful creatures, with their own ambitions. So it's going as well as you think.

This is what I would imagine the dragons would be doing when trying to get inside of a trenchcoat.

(Authors Note. The black dragon is my favourite <3)

Tiamat

Gargantuan fiend, chaotic evil

  • Armor Class 25
  • Hit Points 615(30d0 + 300)
  • Speed 60 ft., fly 120 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
30 (+10) 5 (-3) 30 (+10) 26 (+8) 26 (+8) 28 (+9)
  • Condition Immunities blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, poisoned, stunned
  • Saving Throws Str +19, Dex +9, Wis +17
  • Skills Arcana +17, Perception +26, Religion +17
  • Senses darkvision 240 ft., truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 36
  • Languages Common, Draconic, Infernal
  • Damage Immunities acid, cold, fire, lightning, poison; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Challenge 30 (155,000 XP)

Discorporation. When Tiamat drops to 0 hit points or dies, her body is destroyed but her essence travels back to her domain in the Nine Hells, and she is unable to take physical form for a time.

Legendary Resistance (5/Day). If Tiamat fails a saving throw, she can choose to succeed instead.

Limited Magic Immunity. Unless she wishes to be affected, Tiamat is immune to spells of 6th level or lower. She has advantage on saving throws against all other spells and magical effects.

Magic Weapons. Tiamat’s weapon attacks are magical.

Regeneration. Tiamat regains 30 hit points at the start of her turn.

Multiple Heads. Tiamat can take one reaction per turn, rather than only one per round. She also has advantage on saving throws against being knocked unconscious. If she fails a saving throw against an effect that would stun a creature, one of her unspent legendary actions is spent.

What are you talking about?. A creature may attempt an insight check (DC 5) to discern the nature of this creature to see that it is five dragons in a trenchcoat. If the creature fails the insight check, they don't realize that the creature is five dragons in a trenchcoat and how dare you think otherwise!

Actions

Multiattack. Tiamat can use her Frightful Presence. She then makes three attacks: two with her claws and one with her tail.

Claw. Melee Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit: 24 (4d6 + 10) slashing damage.

Tail. Melee Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, reach 25 ft., one target. Hit: 28 (4d8 + 10) piercing damage.

Frightful Presence. Each creature of Tiamat’s choice that is within 240 feet of Tiamat and aware of her must succeed on a DC 26 Wisdom saving throw or become frightened for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If a creature’s saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it, the creature is immune to Tiamat’s Frightful Presence for the next 24 hours.

Legendary Actions

Tiamat can take 5 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Tiamat regains spent legendary actions at the start of her turn. Tiamat’s legendary action options are associated with her five dragon heads (a bite and a breath weapon for each). Once Tiamat chooses a legendary action option for one of her heads, she can’t choose another one associated with that head until the start of her next turn. Should the Dragons fall over from their trenchcoat, one of them will yell "Scatter", at which point they run into different random directions.

  • Black Dragon Head: Acid Breath (Costs 2 Actions) Tiamat breathes acid in a 120-foot line that is 10 feet wide. Each creature in that line must make a DC 27 Dexterity saving throw, taking 67 (15d8) acid damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
  • Blue Dragon Head: Lightning Breath (Costs 2 Actions) Tiamat breathes lightning in a 120-foot line that is 10 feet wide. Each creature in that line must make a DC 27 Dexterity saving throw, taking 88 (16d10) lightning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
  • Green Dragon Head: Poison Breath (Costs 2 Actions) Tiamat breathes poisonous gas in a 90-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 27 Constitution saving throw, taking 77 (22d6) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
  • Red Dragon Head: Fire Breath (Costs 2 Actions) Tiamat breathes fire in a 90-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 27 Dexterity saving throw, taking 91 (26d6) fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
  • White Dragon Head: Cold Breath (Costs 2 Actions) Tiamat breathes an icy blast in a 90-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 27 Dexterity saving throw, taking 72 (16d8) cold damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Hair Monster

A bundle of hair should be a bundle of fun right?

~(˘▾˘~)

WRONG!!

⚆ _ ⚆

This demonic, evil being has the capacity to take all of your lushious hair and add it to it's biomass. Should you fall victim to it's schemes, pray that there is a wig store nearby to fill that empty void that fuels your never ending nightmare.

Anyway, it's a fun time.

Hair Monster

small monstrosity, chaotic evil

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 110(15d6 + 45)
  • Speed 40ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 14 (+2) 16 (+3) 12 (+1) 18 (+4) 16 (+3)
  • Condition Immunities buzzed, groovy
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Hair
  • Challenge 6 (8938 XP)

Onion Stench. Any creatures within 5 feet of this thing develops an irrational craving for onion rings.

Enormous Nose. This creature gains advantage on any check involving putting things in its nose.

Immune to Fire damage Can't burn this one baby.

Actions

Hair Slap. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 5 (1d6 + 2). The creature must make a DC 100 Constitution saving throw or have all of it's hair removed from it's body and merges with the Hair Monster. When a creature loses it's hair this way, they must roll a 1d20.

On a 20, the hair from the Hair Monster insteads joins with the creature that was hit, which then becomes a Hair Monster. The original Hair Monster then dies of shame.

Goose

Mess with the honk, you get the bonk.

This evil little sh*t just plans to ruin your life, be a mild nuisance and overall an asshole.

You'll find your perfectly fine day that is ruined by a HONK.

And a little goose that is following you around and biting at your feet.

Don't mess with this guy.

Goose

Small guy, chaotic evil

  • Armor Class 15
  • Hit Points 15 (4d6 + 3)
  • Speed 30ft. waddle
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-2) 18 (+4) 14 (+2) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 20 (+5)
  • Condition Immunities buzzed
  • Senses passive Perception 12
  • Languages Latin, Jive, Goose
  • Challenge ∞ (∞ XP)

It's just a Goose? Yeah, that's what you think buddy. When you believe that this Goose can do no harm, it comes along and bites your toes.

Big Jerk. Thinks he is just waaaay better than you.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: auto hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Goose Hydra

Imagine like a Goose, but like an evil wizard came along and was like "This..this can be more evil". And thus the Goose Hydra was born.

It's beaks and long necks are more disastrous that even the quakes of a Tarrasque, or more deadly than the fires of a Ancient Red Dragon. Or even more fearful than the quote-un-quote "rocks fall and you die", DM saying.

Should you face this creature, pray that it is a quick and painless death.

But I would be lying if you would be wasting your breathe.

Goose Hydra

big guy, unaligned (that's what it wants you to think)

  • Armor Class 20
  • Hit Points 300 (25d12+75)
  • Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
25 (+7) 11 (+0) 20 (+5) 19 (+4) 10 (+0) 19 (+4)
  • Condition Immunities buzzed,plucked,wet
  • Senses passive Perception 17
  • Languages Goose
  • Challenge 25 (lots of xp)

Hold Breath. The hydra can hold its breath for 1 hour. Multiple Heads. The hydra has five heads. While it has more than one head, the hydra has advantage on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, and knocked unconscious.

Whenever the hydra takes 25 or more damage in a single turn, one of its heads dies. If all its heads die, the hydra dies.

Wakeful. While the hydra sleeps, at least one of its heads is awake.

Reactive Heads. For each head the hydra has beyond one, it gets an extra reaction that can be used only for opportunity attacks.

Actions

Multiattack. The hydra makes as many bite attacks as it has heads.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: (2d8 + 7) piercing damage.

Squeeple

Religiously fanatic and devout Squeeple dedicate themselves to a person and worship them as gods. They are zealous fanatatics and have a celebration at least every other day. Squeeple have their own unique calander and never forget a religous holiday. The mice however are still much like ordinary mice and as such can be bribed with cheese and cake to delay celebrations, if only for a time. If 1000 mice worship their 'God', that individual will then in fact become a god. Mice whose god does ascend can them become paladins and clerics, possessing divine powers gifted by their god. They are indistinguishable from normal mice without their clothing, weapons and armour and as such can disappear into the rodent population.

Squeeple Peasant

tiny mouse, any alignment

  • Armor Class 18
  • Hit Points 1 (1d4)
  • Speed 10ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-3) 11 +0) 5 (-3) 9 (-1) 10 (+0) 8 (-1)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Mouse
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Squeek!. This creature can squeek as an action and can move triple it's movement speed until the end of the turn.

Widdle Mouse This creature can hide as a bonus action.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Squeeple Paladin

When a Squeeple devotes himself entirely to his cause, they take on an oath of loyalty. In doing so, the Squeeple gains limited paladin-like abilities.

Squple Paladin

tiny mouse, any alignment

  • Armor Class 20 (mouseplate with shield)
  • Hit Points 1 (1d4)
  • Speed 10ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-3) 11 +0) 5 (-3) 9 (-1) 10 (+0) 8 (-1)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Mouse, Common
  • Challenge 1 (200 XP)

Squeek!. This creature can squeek as an action and can move triple it's movement speed until the end of the turn. Brave. The paladin has advantage on saving throws against being frightened.

Divine Smite. As a bonus action, the paladin can expend a spell slot to cause its melee weapon attacks to magically deal an extra 9 (2d8) radiant damage to a target on a hit. This benefit lasts until the end of the turn. If the paladin expends a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the extra damage increases by 1d8 for each level above 1st. The damage increases by 1d8 if the target is an undead or a fiend.

Widdle Mouse This creature can hide as a bonus action.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Smack. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Squeeple Cleric

A Squeeple strong enough faith in their god and will, can become a cleric of that god. Being able to cast divine spells from his widdle body.

Squeeple Cleric

tiny mouse, any alignment

  • Armor Class 20 (mouseplate with shield)
  • Hit Points 1 (1d4)
  • Speed 10ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-3) 11 +0) 5 (-3) 9 (-1) 10 (+0) 8 (-1)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Mouse, Common
  • Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Squeek!. This creature can squeek as an action and can move triple it's movement speed until the end of the turn.

Brave. The paladin has advantage on saving throws against being frightened.

Spellcasting. The cleric is a 5th-level spellcaster. Its spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 7, +1 to hit with spell attacks). The paladin has the following paladin spells prepared:

1st level (4 slots): bless, cure wounds, detect evil and good, heroism, protection from evil and good

2nd level (2 slots): aid, lesser restoration, magic weapon*, protection from poison

Widdle Mouse This creature can hide as a bonus action.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Smack. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

High Freedrick

When a little mouse becomes the leader of the mice, he becomes known as the "Freedrick". Freedrick is a slightly more powerful spellcaster than his peers, but is the interpreter of the god and his laws.

High Freedrick

tiny mouse, any alignment

  • Armor Class 20 (mouseplate with shield)
  • Hit Points 2 (1d4)
  • Speed 11ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-3) 11 +0) 5 (-3) 9 (-1) 10 (+0) 19 (+4)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Mouse, Common
  • Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Squeek!. This creature can squeek as an action and can move triple it's movement speed until the end of the turn.

Brave. The paladin has advantage on saving throws against being frightened.

*Spellcasting. The cleric is a 7th-level spellcaster. Its spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 14, +6 to hit with spell attacks). The paladin has the following paladin spells prepared:

1st level (4 slots): bless, cure wounds, detect evil and good, heroism, protection from evil and good

2nd level (3 slots): aid, lesser restoration, magic weapon*, protection from poison

3rd level (2 slots): revivify, dispel magic, counter-spell

Widdle Mouse This creature can hide as a bonus action.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Smack. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1 damage

Reverse Centaur

When you think of nightmarish creatures that tiptoe the edge of reality and insanity you think of a Nightwalker, Beholder, Elder Brain or worse: Reverse Centaur.

Whenever a creature of eldrtich horror would spawn due to the DM's or otherwise direct players actions, consider using this monstrosity instead.

Reverse Centaur

Small guy, chaotic horse

  • Armor Class 5
  • Hit Points 1
  • Speed 60ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
2 (-5) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 2 (-5) 2 (-5) 11 (+0)
  • Senses passive Perception 3
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Just...Why. Any creatures within 5 feet of this thing must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or become confused with their higher power/diety, and gains a short term maddness effect.

Actions

Flail About. Melee Weapon Attack: -3 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1

The Spanish Inquisition!

Bet you didn't expect that!

These fine gentlemen in red robes like to appear when you least expect them. I would tell you instances of when they appear, but then that would defeat the purpose!

The Spanish Inquisition!

Some guys, I think they're good?

  • Armor Class 20
  • Hit Points 5(1d4 + 1)
  • Speed 15ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
10 (+0) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 16 (+3)
  • Condition Immunities surprised
  • Senses passive Perception 12
  • Languages Common, Spanish
  • Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

No one expects them!. The Spanish Inquisition has advantage on all stealth checks.

Now, for something completely different The Spanish Inquisition can cast Plane Shift at will and stop the silliness.

Actions

Well. Well. Well. Ranged Weapon Attack: (within line of sight) +7 to hit., one target. Hit 5 psychic damage (1d6 + 2)

Vampiric Animals

While many people are aware that humans can become vampires through an untimely encounter with one, very few are aware that animals can become vampires through an unfortunate encounter with a vampiric bat or vampiric carrot.

Often this can lead to dangerous beasts – vampiric lions, wolves, and hawks – who are already fierce hunters able to easily secure good sources of blood. Other times, it leads to beasts where their continued longevity can only be questioned.

Vampiric Elephant

Huge undead, unaligned

  • Armor Class 12
  • Hit Points 114 (12d12+36)
  • Speed 40 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
22 (+6) 10 (0) 17 (+3) 3 (-4) 10 (0) 6 (-2)
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Damage Immunities necrotic
  • Senses darkvision 120 ft, passive Perception 103
  • Challenge Challenge: 5 (1,800 XP)

Trampling Charge: If the elephant moves at least 20 ft. straight toward a creature and then hits it with a gore attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 12 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the elephant can make one stomp attack against it as a bonus action.

Regeneration: The Vampiric Elephant regains 10 Hit Points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water. If the Vampiric Elephant takes radiant damage or damage from Holy Water, this trait doesn't function at the start of the Vampiric Elephant's next turn.

Spider Climb: The Vampiric Elephant can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Vampire Weaknesses: The Vampiric Elephant has the following flaws:

  • Forbiddance. The Vampiric Elephant can't enter a Residence without an invitation from one of the occupants.
  • Harmed by Running Water. The Vampiric Elephant takes 20 acid damage when it ends its turn in running water.
  • Stake to the Heart. The Vampiric Elephant is destroyed if a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into its heart while it is Incapacitated in its Resting place.
  • Sunlight Hypersensitivity. The Vampiric Elephant takes 20 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on Attack Rolls and Ability Checks.

Actions

Gore. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (3d8 + 6) piercing damage.

Stomp. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one prone creature. Hit: (3d10 + 6) bludgeoning damage.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is Grappled, Incapacitated, or Restrained. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 6) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6) necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the Vampiric Elephant regains Hit Points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a Long Rest. The target dies if this Effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0.

Vampiric Giraffe

Huge undead, unaligned

  • Armor Class 11
  • Hit Points 14 (3d8)
  • Speed 60 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
15 (+2) 10 (0) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 10 (0) 9 (-1)
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Damage Immunities necrotic
  • Senses darkvision 120 ft, passive Perception 103
  • Challenge 1/4 (50 XP)

Regeneration: The Vampiric Giraffe regains 10 Hit Points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water. If the Vampiric Giraffe takes radiant damage or damage from Holy Water, this trait doesn't function at the start of the Vampiric Giraffe's next turn.

Spider Climb: The Vampiric Giraffe can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Vampire Weaknesses: The Vampiric Giraffe has the following flaws:

  • Forbiddance. The Vampiric Giraffe can't enter a Residence without an invitation from one of the occupants.
  • Harmed by Running Water. The Vampiric Giraffe takes 20 acid damage when it ends its turn in running water.
  • Stake to the Heart. The Vampiric Giraffe is destroyed if a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into its heart while it is Incapacitated in its Resting place.
  • Sunlight Hypersensitivity. The Vampiric Giraffe takes 20 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on Attack Rolls and Ability Checks.

Actions

Kick. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (2d6+2) bludgeoning damage.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is Grappled, Incapacitated, or Restrained. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 2) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6) necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the Vampiric Giraffe regains Hit Points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a Long Rest. The target dies if this Effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0. Attempting to bite puts the giraffe in a vulnerable position, making attack rolls against the giraffe have advantage until their next turn.

Vampiric Cow

Large undead, unaligned

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 15 (2d10+4)
  • Speed 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 10 (+0) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 10 (+0) 4 (-3)
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Damage Immunities necrotic
  • Senses darkvision 120 ft, passive Perception 103
  • Challenge 1/4 (50 XP)

Charge. If the cow moves at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a gore attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 7 (2d6) piercing damage.

Regeneration: The Vampiric Cow regains 10 Hit Points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water. If the Vampiric Cow takes radiant damage or damage from Holy Water, this trait doesn't function at the start of the Vampiric Cow's next turn.

Spider Climb: The Vampiric Cow can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Vampire Weaknesses: The Vampiric Cow has the following flaws:

  • Forbiddance. The Vampiric Cow can't enter a Residence without an invitation from one of the occupants.
  • Harmed by Running Water. The Vampiric Cow takes 20 acid damage when it ends its turn in running water.
  • Stake to the Heart. The Vampiric Cow is destroyed if a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into its heart while it is Incapacitated in its Resting place.
  • Sunlight Hypersensitivity. The Vampiric Cow takes 20 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on Attack Rolls and Ability Checks.

Actions

Gore. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d6 + 4) piercing damage.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is Grappled, Incapacitated, or Restrained. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 4) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6) necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the Vampiric Cow regains Hit Points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a Long Rest. The target dies if this Effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0.

Vampiric Turtle

Small undead, unaligned

  • Armor Class 17
  • Hit Points 7 (2d4+2)
  • Speed 10 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
8 (-1) 8 (-1) 10 (0) 2 (-4) 10 (+0) 6 (-2)
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Damage Immunities necrotic
  • Senses darkvision 120 ft, passive Perception 103
  • Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

Shell Defense. The Vampiric Turtle can withdraw into its shell as an action. Until it emerges, it gains a +4 bonus to AC, and has advantage on Strength and Constitution saving throws. While in its shell, it is prone, has a speed of 0 and can't increase, has disadvantage on Dexterity saving throws, can't take reactions, does not take damage from Sunlight Hypersensitivity, and cannot take actions until it emerges as a free action.

Regeneration: The Vampiric Turtle regains 10 Hit Points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water. If the Vampiric Turtle takes radiant damage or damage from Holy Water, this trait doesn't function at the start of the Vampiric Turtle's next turn.

Spider Climb: The Vampiric Turtle can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Vampire Weaknesses: The Vampiric Turtle has the following flaws:

  • Forbiddance. The Vampiric Turtle can't enter a Residence without an invitation from one of the occupants.
  • Harmed by Running Water. The Vampiric Turtle takes 20 acid damage when it ends its turn in running water.
  • Stake to the Heart. The Vampiric Turtle is destroyed if a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into its heart while it is Incapacitated in its Resting place.
  • Sunlight Hypersensitivity. The Vampiric Turtle takes 20 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has disadvantage on Attack Rolls and Ability Checks.

Actions

Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 - 1) slashing damage.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is Grappled, Incapacitated, or Restrained. Hit: 6 (1d6 - 1) piercing damage plus 7 (2d6) necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the Vampiric Turtle regains Hit Points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a Long Rest. The target dies if this Effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0.

Vampiric Carrot

Small guy, lawful carrot

  • Armor Class 18
  • Hit Points 45(8d6 + 8)
  • Speed 20ft. fly
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 16 (+3) 12 (+1) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 13 (+1)
  • Condition Immunities charmed, made into a salad
  • Senses passive Perception 24
  • Languages Vegetable
  • Challenge 10 (5900 XP)

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the vampire fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead. Misty Escape.

When it drops to 0 hit points outside its resting place, the vampire transforms into a cloud of mist (as in the Shapechanger trait) instead of falling unconscious, provided that it isn't in sunlight or running water. If it can't transform, it is destroyed. While it has 0 hit points in mist form, it can't revert to its vampire form, and it must reach its resting place within 2 hours or be destroyed. Once in its resting place, it reverts to its vampire form. It is then paralyzed until it regains at least 1 hit point. After spending 1 hour in its resting place with 0 hit points, it regains 1 hit point.

Regeneration. The vampire regains 20 hit points at the start of its turn if it has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water. If the vampire takes radiant damage or damage from holy water, this trait doesn't function at the start of the vampire's next turn.

Spider Climb. The vampire can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Actions

Multiattack (Vampire Form Only). The vampire makes two attacks, only one of which can be a bite attack.

Unarmed Strike (Vampire Form Only).

Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: (1d8 + 4) bludgeoning damage. Instead of dealing damage, the vampire can grapple the target (escape DC 18)

Bite (Bat or Vampire Form Only). Melee Weapon Attack: +9 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is grappled by the vampire, incapacitated, or restrained. Hit: (1d6 + 4) piercing damage plus (3d6)necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and the vampire regains hit points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. The target dies if this effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0. A humanoid slain in this way and then buried in the ground rises the following night as a vampire spawn under the vampire's control.

Legendary Actions

Vampire can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Vampire regains spent legendary actions at the start of their turn.

Move. The vampire moves up to its speed without provoking opportunity attacks.

Unarmed Strike. The vampire makes one unarmed strike.

Bite (Costs 2 Actions). The vampire makes one bite attack.

Food Elementals

In the bowls of the Archchef Ramsey’s infernal kitchen the food elementals were spawned into this world. The binding of spirits representing the quintessential heart of culinary perfection were merged with the purest of pure chocolate, the lightest of light marshmallow, and the crispest of crisp graham cracker. Pleased with his creations the Archchef released his creations into the world to punish those whose food is a blight on society. Imparting his wisdom with words such as “It’s Fucking Raw!”, or “This crab is so undercooked it’s still singing ‘Under the sea’”, or “There’s enough garlic in here to kill every vampire on the continent”.

Chocolate Elemental

In the beginning there was chocolate, probably, or at least sometime soon after the beginning because chocolate is great. The Chocolate Elemental as the first food elemental made and it exemplifies the rich flavor of its namesake. Though it has the strong chocolaty bonds, and has the ability to do so, it only burrows under the direst of circumstances considering it dirty to go underground. It gets enraged when something is cooked using unhygienic food or methods.

Marshmallow Elemental

On the second day there was marshmallow. Sweet light spongy squishy goodness is the Marshmallow and so too is the blessed creation of the Marshmallow elemental. It has a light and bouncy personality. Preferring to bounce wherever it goes it is surprisingly quiet. It gets enraged when something is either undercooked or overcooked.

Graham Cracker Elemental

Quite a few days after the last elemental was made was the birth of the Graham Cracker. A nice crunch, not too sweet, got sustenance to it, not too dry, a good allround cracker 8/10. Being the less important younger elemental it somewhat resents the world and its place in it leading it to be termed edgy or a dark horse. It gets enraged when something is either under seasoned or over seasoned.

Smore Elemental

In a rare move Archchef Ramsey made a deal with a sect of fire elementals to harness their power in combination with his other creations to create a holy trinity of culinary perfection. Thus the Smore elemental was created combining the best of all his delicious elementals. The Smore elemental is the ultimate critic of everything food related. It despises all imperfect cooking methods and on top of that requires all dishes to be artfully presented.

Chocolate Elemental

Large food elemental, neutral

  • Armor Class 17 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 126 (12d10 + 60)
  • Speed 30 ft., burrow 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
20 (+5) 8 (-1) 20 (+5) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0))
  • Senses darkvision 60 ft., tremorsense 60 ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages Cookan
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities exhaustion, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, unconscious
  • Skills: +10 Cooking
  • Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Earth Glide: The elemental can burrow through nonmagical, unworked earth and stone. While doing so, the elemental doesn't disturb the material it moves through.

Siege Monster: The elemental deals double damage to objects and structures.

Actions

Multiattack: The elemental makes two slam attacks.

Slam: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (2d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage.

Marshmallow Elemental

Large food elemental, neutral

  • Armor Class 14 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 114 (12d10 + 48)
  • Speed 30 ft., bounce 90 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 14 (+2) 18 (+4) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0))
  • Senses darkvision 60 ft.,ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages Cookan
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities exhaustion, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, unconscious
  • Skills: +10 Cooking, +5 Stealth
  • Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Amorphous Form: The elemental can enter a hostile creature's space and stop there. It can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.

Bouncy Boy: The elemental can bounce instead of taking fall damage. Bouncing to an unoccupied space within 30 feet

Actions

Multiattack: The elemental makes two slam attacks.

Slam: Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 13 (2d8 + 4) bludgeoning damage.

Envelop (Recharge 4-6): Each creature in the elemental's space must make a DC 15 Strength saving throw. On a failure, a target takes 13 (2d8 + 4) bludgeoning damage. If it is Large or smaller, it is also grappled (escape DC 14). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained and unable to breathe. If the saving throw is successful, the target is pushed out of the elemental's space. The elemental can grapple one Large creature or up to two Medium or smaller creatures at one time. At the start of each of the elemental's turns, each target grappled by it takes 13 (2d8 + 4) bludgeoning damage. A creature within 5 feet of the elemental can pull a creature or object out of it by taking an action to make a DC 14 Strength and succeeding.

Graham Cracker Elemental

Large food elemental, neutral

  • Armor Class 15
  • Hit Points 15
  • Speed Speed 0 ft., fly 90 ft. (hover)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 20 (+5) 14 (+2) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0))
  • Senses darkvision 60 ft., ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages Cookan
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities exhaustion, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, unconscious
  • Skills: +10 Cooking
  • Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Biscuit Base: The elemental can enter a hostile creature's space and stop there. It can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.

Actions

Multiattack: The elemental makes two slam attacks.

Slam: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 14 (2d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage.

Crakernado (Recharge 4-6): Each creature in the elemental's space must make a DC 13 Strength saving throw. On a failure, a target takes 15 (3d8 + 2) bludgeoning damage and is flung up 20 feet away from the elemental in a random direction and knocked prone. If a thrown target strikes an object, such as a wall or floor, the target takes 3 (1d6) bludgeoning damage for every 10 feet it was thrown. If the target is thrown at another creature, that creature must succeed on a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw or take the same damage and be knocked prone. If the saving throw is successful, the target takes half the bludgeoning damage and isn't flung away or knocked prone.

Smore Elemental

Large food elemental, neutral

  • Armor Class 19 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 222 (12d12 + 70)
  • Speed 30 ft., bounce 90 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
20 (+5) 18 (+4) 20 (+5) 14 (+2) 15 (+2) 10 (+0))
  • Senses darkvision 60 ft., tremorsense 60 ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages Cookan
  • Damage Resistances fire, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
  • Condition Immunities exhaustion, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, unconscious
  • Skills: +15 Cooking
  • Challenge 7 (2,900 XP)

Amorphous Form: The elemental can enter a hostile creature's space and stop there. It can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.

Bouncy Boy: The elemental can bounce instead of taking fall damage. Bouncing to an unoccupied space within 30 feet

Siege Monster: The elemental deals double damage to objects and structures.

Actions

Multiattack: The elemental makes three slam attacks.

Slam: Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 19 (3d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage.

Envelop (Recharge 4-6): Each creature in the elemental's space must make a DC 15 Strength saving throw. On a failure, a target takes 19 (3d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage. If it is Large or smaller, it is also grappled (escape DC 16). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained and unable to breathe. If the saving throw is successful, the target is pushed out of the elemental's space. The elemental can grapple one Large creature or up to two Medium or smaller creatures at one time. At the start of each of the elemental's turns, each target grappled by it takes 19 (3d8 + 5) bludgeoning damage. A creature within 5 feet of the elemental can pull a creature or object out of it by taking an action to make a DC 16 Strength and succeeding.

Atch Ca’chem

If there is one word to describe Atch Ca’chem, it is not successful. As a child, he fell into the creature capture game alongside his peers but, while they moved on, he stayed committed to the dream of one day capturing every creature in existence - a lofty and entirely unrealistic goal. His skills (and personality) stagnated at 12 and so he has since resorted to nefarious means of capturing bigger and better creatures. Stalking about in forests and caves near the lairs of fearsome beasts, he awaits the arrival of plucky adventurers out to make a name for themselves and, when the moment is right, snatches the weakened creatures from under their noses. Also, he has an electric mouse.

Atch Ca’chem

Medium humanoid (human), true neutral

  • Armor Class 11 (Leather Armor)
  • Hit Points 32 (5d8+10)
  • Speed 30 ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
15 (+2) 11 (+0) 14 (+2) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 11 (+0)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Common
  • Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

Always Waiting. Whenever a battle is initiated with a creature of CR 1<, there is a 10% chance of Atch Ca’chem spawning.

Gotta Catch ‘em All! Atch Ca’chem rolls for initiative at spawn, but will hold his action until the creature being fought is at or below 10HP. Using a Monster Ball, Atch Ca’chem attempts to capture the weakened creature. Roll a d20. If number is higher than the creature’s remaining HP, The creature makes a Wisdom saving throw (DC 13). If it fails, its body is turned into swirling red energy and sucked into the ball, where it is immediately brainwashed into loving whichever player is attuned to the ball.

You’ll Never Take Me Alive! If caught, Atch has 1d6 creatures in Monster Balls on their person. When released, their primary function is to protect Atch and allow his escape.

Pack Tactics. The thug has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the thug's allies is within 5 ft. of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.

Actions

Multiattack. The thug makes two melee attacks.

Mace. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: (1d6 + 2) bludgeoning damage.

Heavy Crossbow. Ranged Weapon Attack: +2 to hit, reach 100/400 ft., one target. Hit: (1d10) piercing damage.

Nigerian Prince Scammer

Lost, far from home and starving, Prince Niedjakoin is in desperate need of aid. He had travelled many miles from his home land searching for the prophesied adventurers who might help him raise the gold he needs to return home and save his people. He requires 5,000 gold pieces, which can be provided in Prezzy Cards, which he will use to build schools, repair infrastructure, and overthrow the brutal dictator who has seized power unlawfully. In return, he will grant the adventurers whatever they desire - magic items, money, fame, power, anything. Of course he will. You can trust the prince. Ignore that he looks like an awful beggar covered literally head to toe in fecal matter from various sources. He's a prince.

Nigerian Prince Scammer

Medium humanoid (any race), chaotic...?

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 4 (1d8)
  • Speed 30 ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 18 (+4)
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Common
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

You Can Trust Me, I’m a Prince: The scammer can attempt to convince up to 4 targets of his royal status by casting Sway the Crowd (see Charm Person, however it applies to up to 4 targets within range). Every 3 hours, the scammer is able to recast Sway the Crowd upon the same targets, however the DC save to resist decreases with each casting. When the charm wears off, the targets become aware of their having been charmed.

Overwhelming Stench: The scammer can increase the temperature of his soiled clothing via Heat Object which in turn amplifies his stench, turning the stomachs of those nearby. Creatures within 10ft must make a DC 13 CON save to be unaffected. If failed, the creature must take the Dash action to move away from the scammer.

Actions

Club. Melee Weapon Attack: +2 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4) bludgeoning damage.

The Mosquito

Half move action to swat or take 1 dmg Remember that mosquito you killed days ago in the swamp, and you complained they are so annoying, and how every mosquito should perish because what use are they to the eco system?

It had a son.

This is the John Wick of mosquitos, with an unhealthy dollop of Liam Neeson in its genes. It will find you wherever you are. It will bite you. You will itch.

No one can escape this mosquito. Every time you think you've swatted it, it flies out of your hands. Poison it? It gets up again and acts as if nothing happened. Fire breath? The hot air pushed it out the way. No one knows for sure if this thing is immortal but no one has ever even so much as struck it to find out. It can't be killed. It whines in your ear every night as you sleep and bites you in places that will almost certainly chafe the next day.

The Mosquito

small insect, chaotic evil

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 1(1d4)
  • Speed 60ft. fly
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
2 (-5) 16 (+3) 10 (+1) 4 (-3) 4 (-3) 2 (-5)
  • Condition all
  • Senses passive Perception 13
  • Languages Common
  • Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

Immortal: The Mosquito is immortal, it can not die.

Actions

Flyby: The Mosquito can fly by peoples ears and be a general nuisance. A creature must make a DC 10 Wisdom saving throw or have it's next attack roll, ability check, saving throw or death saving throw with disadvantage.

Blatherbug

Insects are rarely recognised for their ability to spread gossip among adventurer-folk mostly due to their inability to master the common tongue. This insect is out to change that. A natural collector of conspiracy, this small bug sneaks into the tents, bags, and boots of adventurers and listens in to the tales you never wanted anyone to hear. Then, like a thief in the night, they abscond with every intention of spreading tales of your misdeeds to people who have no interest in them whatsoever. This bug also is terrible with names and so whomsoever they tell are clueless as to whose secret they now possess.

Blatherbug

small insect, unaligned

  • Armor Class 12
  • Hit Points 1(1d4)
  • Speed 1ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
2 (-5) 16 (+3) 13 (+1) 4 (-3) 4 (-3) 2 (-5)
  • Condition Vulnerable to gossip/rumours about themself
  • Senses passive Perception 13
  • Languages All, telepathy
  • Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

Weaponised tongue: The blatherbug has an aptitude for making the secrets they share particularly vicious. Incorporates all kinds of nasty embellishments. This is in no way harmful to the target.

Actions

Moment of Uncertainty: The blatherbug can attempt to convince the target that a close acquaintance is the person being spoken about. Target must make a DC 8 WIS save to see through this. If the blatherbug attempts this again, the DC lowers by one point for every successful save against it because it comes across as desperate and awkward.

The "Alpha"bet

Due to a mad scientists ramblings and instanity, he thought of a crazy idea that invovled letters. His name, was abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.!?@#$%^&*(){}[];':",.<>/?. When he made the letters, he thought he designed them with the intention of not harming anyone with that letter in their name.

Sadly, it was the reverse.

He died. Horribly. My god it was so bad.

Ramaging letters on the loose.

Hide your children.

Hide your wife/husband/SO/other gender pronoun (it's current year everyone).

Name your children with numbers, that Elon Musk fello had the right idea. Be like Elon.

The "Alpha"bet

large letter, chaotic letter

  • Armor Class 14
  • Hit Points 55 (10d6 + 20)
  • Speed 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
16 (+3) 16 (+3) 14 (+2) 1 (-5) 4 (-3) 2 (-5)
  • Condition immune to all conditions of creatures who do not have a letter that is that same as this creature.
  • Senses passive Perception 10
  • Languages Ha! Ironic.
  • Challenge 4 (1100 XP)

Limited to letters: These creatures can only attack individuals that have a name which contain the letter of whichever creature is attacking. This also means that the letter in question can not take damage from someone who does not have the letter in their name of the letter they are attacking (Authors note: if that was confusing, sorry not sorry)

Actions

Multiattack. The "Alpha"bet makes a number of melee attacks based on the number of letters in the individuals name. For example, Aa-ron (refer to Key and Peele skit), is being attacked from the letter "A". The letter "A" would get two attacks, because it appears twice within the individuals name.

Slam: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 11 (3d6 + 3)

Unladen Swallow

An african or european swallow? Please refer to "Monty Python's Holy Grail" for more information.

Unladen Swallow

Small guy, chaotic bird

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 1
  • Speed ¯\(ツ)/¯
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
5 (-3) 13 (+1) 20 (+5) 5 (-3) 2 (-4) 9 (-1)
  • Condition Immunities over encumbered
  • Senses passive Perception 15
  • Languages European, African
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Coconut Carrier. The Unladen Swallow has advantage to pick up and transfer coconuts a large distance, due to [DATA EXPUNGED]

Actions

Peck. Melee Weapon Attack: +1 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit 1

Nuclear Gandhi

A man of negotiation and a champion of nonviolent resistance, Gandhi inspired generations of nonviolent activists.

But unknown to many, underneath his peaceful exterior, Gandhi harboured a nuclear secret.

Over the course of an adventure, Gandhi will seek to negotiate with adventurers.

At first, his demands will be reasonable, such as trading gold for armour and mounts. As negotiations continue, he will start requesting discounts, eventually requesting that adventurers provide all their possessions to him for free.

If refused, Gandhi will attack the party with a meteor swarm, a few fire storms, and several flame strikes, ensuring that he and his colleagues are away from any blast zones.

Nuclear Gandhi

Medium humanoid (human), Neutral Good

  • Armor Class 12 (natural armour)
  • Hit Points 99 (18d8+18)
  • Speed 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
10 (+0) 14 (+2) 12 (+2) 20 (+5) 15 (+2) 16 (+3)
  • Saving Throws Int +9, Wis +6
  • Skills Arcana +13, History +13
  • Senses passive Perception 12
  • Languages Common and five other languages
  • Challenge 12 (8,400 XP)

Nuclear Fire. Any fire damage that comes from a spell cast by Gandhi has a nuclear component. If hit, the creature must make a DC 17 constitution saving throw to avoid being poisoned by radiation. This condition can only be removed by spending one year being washed in a temple, or through use of the greater restoration or wish spells.

Spellcasting. Gandhi is an 18th-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 17, +9 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following spells prepared:

Cantrips (at will): firebolt, friends

1st level (4 slots): burning hands, charm person

2nd level (3 slots): detect thoughts, flaming sphere, scorching ray, suggestion

3rd level (3 slots): fireball

4th level (3 slots): wall of fire

5th level (3 slots): flame strike

6th level (2 slots): mass suggestion

7th level (2 slots): fire storm

8th level (1 slot): sunburst

9th level (1 slot): meteor swarm

Drag-on

Some dragons are born fabulous darlings. But don't let appearances fool you this kitty got claws, rawr. Up on our catwalks we are the queens of the show and we can shake your tail feather. But don't you be talk'n bad about me or my gals cause we will slap you silly. We got a sisterhood so strong ain't nothing's going to take us down. My treasure is feather boas, gorgeous hairdos, make-up, and of course all that Glitters is gold, honey.

Adult Drag-on

Huge dragon, chaotic spicy

  • Armor Class 18 (Natural Armor)
  • Hit Points 172 (15d12+75)
  • Speed 40 ft., burrow 40 ft., fly 80 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
23 (+6) 10 (+0) 21 (+5) 14 (+2) 13 (+1) CHA 20 (+5)
  • Damage Immunities Fire, bad clothes
  • Saving Throws Dex +5, Con +10, Wis +6, Cha +8
  • Skills History +7, Perception +11, Performance +15, Persuasion +8, Stealth +5
  • Senses Senses Blindsight 60 Ft., Darkvision 120 Ft., passive Perception 21
  • Languages Common, Draconic
  • Challenge 13 (10,000 XP)

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If the dragon fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead.

Multiattack. The dragon can use its Fabulous Presence. It then makes three attacks: one with its bite and two with its claws.

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: (2d10 + 6) piercing damage. Slap. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (2d6 + 6) slashing damage.

Boa Whip. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. Hit: (2d8 + 6) bludgeoning damage.

Fabulous Presence. Each creature of the dragon's choice that is within 120 feet of the dragon and aware of it must succeed on a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw or become charmed for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. If a creature's saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it.

Breath Weapons (Recharge 5-6). The dragon uses one of the following breath weapons. Fire Breath. The dragon exhales fire in an 60-foot line that is 5 feet wide. Each creature in that line must make a DC 18 Dexterity saving throw, taking 45 (13d6) fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Sleep Breath. The dragon exhales sleep gas in a 60-foot cone. Each creature in that area must succeed on a DC 18 Constitution saving throw or fall unconscious for 10 minutes. This effect ends for a creature if the creature takes damage or someone uses an action to wake it.

Legendary Actions

Adult Drag-on can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. Adult Drag-on regains spent legendary actions at the start of their turn.

Detect.The dragon makes a Wisdom (Perception) check.

Boa Whip Attack.The dragon makes a Boa Whip attack.

Wing Attack (Costs 2 Actions). The dragon beats its wings. Each creature within 10 feet of the dragon must succeed on a DC 19 Dexterity saving throw or take 13 (2d6 + 6) bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone. The dragon can then fly up to half its flying speed.

British Beholder

Your would-be employer sends a note, written in immaculate cursive. When you arrive at his townhouse, you are astonished to be greeted by a floating spherical creature with many eyestalks, a large central eye, wearing a top hat! He invites you in for tea, and you feel you must accept! A large teapot flies into the room, accompanied by several cups and saucers. The pot pours itself into each cup. As you all take a sip, you realise it’s delicious! You immediately feel at ease! Your new friend speaks with an Upper Received Pronunciation accent, suggesting that he is a being of some class. When your business concludes, you leave, thinking to yourself that you would be stupid to betray such a fine beholder.

British Beholder

Large aberration, absolutely lovely

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 95 (10d10 + 40)
  • Speed 0 ft., fly 20 ft. (hover)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
10 (+0) 14 (+2) 18 (+4) 16 (+3) 15 (+2) 17 (+3)
  • Saving Throws Int +6, Wis +5, Cha +6
  • Senses darkvision 120 ft., passive Perception 1
  • Skills Perception +7
  • Languages Deep Speech, Undercommon
  • Challenge 8 (3,900 XP)

Actions

Eye Rays. The beholder shoots three of the following magical eye rays at random (reroll duplicates), choosing one to three targets it can see within 120 feet of it:

  1. Charm Ray. The targeted creature must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by the lovely British Beholder for 1 hour, or until the lovely British Beholder harms the creature which we are sure they would never do.
  2. Boiling Water Ray. The targeted creature gets shot with boiling water. Ranged Magic Attack: +6 to hit, range 120 ft., one target. Hit: 28 (5d10) fire damage.
  3. Sleep Ray. The targeted creature must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or become relaxed by the taste of tea, falling asleep and remaining unconscious for 1 minute. The target awakens if it takes damage or another creature takes an action to wake it. This ray has no effect on constructs and undead.
  4. Plantation Ray. The targeted creature must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature begins to turn to tea plantation and is restrained. It must repeat the saving throw at the end of its next turn. On a success, the effect ends. On a failure, the creature is petrified and starts to grow tea leaves until freed by the greater restoration spell or other magic.
  5. Tea Leaf Ray. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 23 (5d8) force damage. If this damage reduces the creature to 0 hit points, its body becomes a pile of fine tea leaves.
  6. British Death Ray. The targeted creature must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 28 (5d10) necrotic damage.

Dessert Monsters

You likely came to this page in search of desert monsters, such as ancient mummies and the wise sphinx. But alas, you have been fooled! These are dessert monsters. Here you will find ice cream and puddings that want to eat you!

Spider with Chocolate Legs

Large monstrosity, unaligned

  • Armor Class 14 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 26 (4d10 + 4)
  • Speed 30ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 16 (+3) 12 (+1) 2 (-4) 11 (+0) 10 (+0)
  • Damage Vulnerability Fire
  • Damage Resistance Cold
  • Senses Blindsight 10 ft., Darkvision 60 ft., Passive Perception 10
  • Challenge 1 (200 XP)

*Spider Climb. The spider can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Web Sense. While in contact with a frosty web, the spider knows the exact location of any other creature in contact with the same web.

Web Walker. The spider ignores movement restrictions caused by webbing.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 7 (1d8 + 3) piercing damage, and the target must make a DC 11 Constitution saving throw, taking 9 (2d8) cold damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If the cold damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but has brain freeze for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is incapacitated while suffering from brain freeze in this way.

*Frosty Web (Recharge 5–6).** Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, range 30/60 ft., one creature. Hit: The target is restrained by a flavoured frosty froth. As an action, the restrained target can make a DC 12 Strength check, bursting the froth on a success. The froth can also be attacked and destroyed (AC 10; hp 5; vulnerability to fire damage; immunity to bludgeoning, poison, and psychic damage).

Lime Jelly

Large ooze, unaligned

  • Armor Class 8
  • Hit Points 23 (3d10 + 12)
  • Speed 20ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
12 (+1) 15 (+2) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 6 (-2) 1 (-5)
  • Damage Immunities Lightning, Slashing
  • Damage Resistance Acid
  • Damage Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), Passive Perception 8
  • Challenge 1 (200 XP)

Amorphous. The jelly can move through a space as narrow as 1 inch wide without squeezing.

Spider Climb. The jelly can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check

Actions

Jelly Ball. Ranged Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, range 40 ft./160 ft., one creature. Hit: 7 (2d6 + 2) acid damage. When used, the lime jelly takes 1 point of damage as it throws a part of itself. Reactions

Split. When a jelly that is Medium or larger is subjected to lightning or slashing damage, it splits into two new jellies if it has at least 10 hit points. Each new jelly has hit points equal to half the original jelly's, rounded down. New jellies are one size smaller than the original jelly.

Cheese and Crackers

Large swarm of small flying snacks, unaligned

  • Armor Class 12
  • Hit Points 60 (8d12+8)
  • Speed 0ft, fly 30 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 16 (+3) 14 (+2) 2 (-4) 6 (-2) 10 (+0)
  • Condition Immunities Charmed, Frightened, Grappled, Paralyzed, Petrified, Prone, Restrained, Stunned
  • Senses Blindsight 60 ft. (blind beyond this radius), Passive Perception 8
  • Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Swarm. The swarm can occupy another creature's space and vice versa, and the swarm can move through any opening large enough for a small snack. The swarm can't regain hit points or gain temporary hit points.

Actions

Cheese goes on the cracker. Cheese and Crackers may throw three crackers each round. Each cracker may have a topping. The same topping cannot be used twice in a round.

Cracker. Ranged weapon attack: +5 to hit, range 30 ft./120 ft., one creature. Hit: 5 (1d4 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Blue Cheese. The smell of the cheese overwhelms the senses of the attacked creature. Make a DC 12 Constitution saving throw to avoid being incapacitated until the start of Cheese and Crackers’ next turn.

Brie Cheese. This cheese is confusing. It tastes like a camembert, but you don’t want to ask in case you look like a fool. Make a DC 12 Wisdom saving throw to avoid being confused, or it can’t take reactions until the end of its next turn. On its turn, the target can’t move, and it uses its action to make a melee or ranged attack against a randomly determined creature within range. If the target can’t attack, it does nothing on its turn.

Camembert Cheese. This cheese is very charming. Make a DC 12 Wisdom saving throw to avoid being charmed by the Cheese and Crackers. Aged Gouda Cheese. This cheese is hard! Add an extra 1d6 bludgeoning damage to the cracker.

Hot English Mustard. This mustard really packs a punch! Add an extra 1d6 fire damage to the cracker.

Sleeping Salami. This salami puts you at ease. Make a DC 12 Constitution saving throw to avoid falling asleep for 1 minute. The target awakens if they take damage or if they are awakened by the action of another creature.

Road with Legs

The people of Marcathia believe Road With Legs will lead them to a lost city of pure gold, filled with treasures unknown and unknowable. The problem is, nobody can fecking catch the thing.

One might expect this cobblestone road to slither like a snake, its many misshapen rocks held together by strange flesh-like tendons and wriggling in the dirt, but it actually had millions of tiny baby legs protruding beneath it that it scuttles on at spectacular speed (for a road).

The fastest it's ever been clocked moving at is 110kph, but it always slows down for schools and road works.

Road with Legs

Gargantuan monstrosity, unaligned

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 247 (15d20 + 90) per street
  • Speed 110ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
28 (+9) 7 (-2) 22 (+6) 1 (-5) 8 (-1) 4 (-3)
  • Saving Throws Con +11, Wis +4
  • Senses tremorsense 60 ft., passive Perception 9
  • Challenge 13 (1548 XP)

The Road to Somewhere. Road With Legs is well known to lead to a lost city of vast, unknowable treasure. Any adventurer who finds the road and is able to follow it to its destination enters a small dimensional portal that appears like a road tunnel, leading to this spectacular ‘lost city’. The problem is, the Road is very old so many adventurers have been here previously. Thusly, the city is entirely looted out. Bad luck, should have gotten here a hundred years earlier.

Highway With Legs. An individual Road With Legs is known as a Street. When multiple streets combine together in a line, head to toe, they become known as a Highway. Should one Street combine perpendicularly or multiple Highways meet, it is known as a Junction.

Slippery When Wet. During inclement weather, the DC for “Buck” as described below increases to 15.

Actions

Sharp Corner. Melee Weapon Attack. +9 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 22 (3d8 + 9) piercing damage.

Buck. Despite being a Road, Road With Legs does not want you on it. Whenever a creature starts their turn on the road, they must make a DC11 DEX saving throw or else be thrown 5 feet from the Road’s back.

Regional Effects

  • Speed Limit. When travelling upon the Road With Legs, creatures are limited to a speed of 40. This includes creatures travelling in vehicles.
  • Road Trip Weather. It is always raining around the Road With Legs. Everywhere within 5 miles of the Road With Legs experiences inclement weather as it passes through. If the temperature is cold enough, the rain may turn to frost or snow.

Choo

If you ever catch a Choo off guard, you are in for a delightful (or grusome if you think of it that way) surprise! Choo are small colourful marcupials that glide from tree to tree.

Choo

Tiny beast, unaligned

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 1
  • Speed 45ft, climb 30ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
4 (-3) 18 (+4) 8 (-1) 2 (-4) 0 (-6) 4 (-3)
  • Condition Immunities swagged, groggy, buzzed
  • Senses darkvision 30 ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages None
  • Skills Stealth +10
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Glide: Choo can extend their confetti-fins on their body to catch the air in order to control their landing as they dash from tree to tree. When they fall and are not incapacitated, they can subtract up to 100 feet from their fall when calculating thier fall damage and can move horizontally 2 feet for every 1 foot they fall.

Actions

Congratulations: The Choo sneezes in fright, causing its body to explode fabulously into thousands of colourful pieces of confetti, and causes a harmless illusionary effect that reads "you win" in your preferred language.

Kabloo

Tiny beast, unaligned

  • Armor Class 10
  • Hit Points 1
  • Speed 45ft, climb 30ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
4 (-3) 18 (+4) 8 (-1) 2 (-4) 0 (-6) 4 (-3)
  • Condition Immunities swagged, groggy, buzzed
  • Senses darkvision 30 ft., passive Perception 10
  • Languages None
  • Skills Stealth +10
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Glide: Choo can extend their confetti-fins on their body to catch the air in order to control their landing as they dash from tree to tree. When they fall and are not incapacitated, they can subtract up to 100 feet from their fall when calculating thier fall damage and can move horizontally 2 feet for every 1 foot they fall.

Actions

Shia Surprise!: The Kabloo sneezes violently, causing its body to explode into thousands of colourful pieces of razor sharp, poisonous shards. Everyone within 25ft of the explotion must do a DC? DEX Saving Throw, and if hit, paralysis, poison is afflicted to the target.

Sponges.

Eternally renown for their helpfulness, efficiency, and speed. Well, as long as they are not wet. This one exemplifies this truly fatal vulnerability.

When the weather is fine and the sponge is kept far from sink and ocean alike, it is nigh on unstoppable. However, once moisture creeps its way into its absorbent tissue, this sponge is rendered entirely useless.

No one knows from whence this abomination spawned. Adventurers local to the area know to carry a water-skin on them at all times.

Other adventurers also know to do this, but for other, more practical reasons.

Sponges.

Small beast, Chaotic Evil

  • Armor Class 18
  • Hit Points 50
  • Speed Speed 40ft, Swim 0ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
STR 9 DEX 14 CON 17 WIS 10 INT 2 CHA 8
  • Damage Immunity: Bludgeoning
  • Damage Resistances: Piercing
  • Languages:* none

Was… Was That a Sponge? Advantage on stealth checks.

Dry As A Bone: When the sponge takes damage, reduce the amount of absorbed HP.

Spongy Blood Magic: Tap into pool of stolen blood to heal that many HP. Reduces amount of absorbed HP.

Actions

Prick Attack: Range: <5ft. Damage: 1d4+2 piercing. Subject must make a DC 14 CON save. If failed, target takes 3d6 necrotic damage. Successful saves take half. Small pins hidden just below the spongy surface press into the skin of a target and drain their blood. If it absorbs hit points equal to half of its HP, it can no longer attack or move.

Definitely Not SCP-096

Alright, here me out on this one.

I know what you're thinking "Oh some carbon copy of SCP-096, whooppy-do". But like it's not the same.

SCP-096 will kill you if look at it's face, where as Definitely Not SCP-096 will only kill you if you look at it's fac-- shit, ok yeah it's a carbon copy.

This creature is naturally docile and harmless. However, should you look at it's face or a picture of it's face, you will die by [REDACTED].

Definitely Not SCP-096

large monstrosity, Euclid

  • Armor Class [REDACTED]
  • Hit Points [REDACTED]
  • Speed [REDACTED]
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
30 (+10) 5 (-3) 25 (+7) 5 (-3) 10 (+0) -30 (-10)
  • Condition Immunities [REDACTED]
  • Senses passive Perception 1000
  • Languages None
  • Challenge [REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

Actions

[REDACTED]

Tickle Me Elbo

It’s just kinda there. When squeezed, the Tickle Me Elbo shakes, vibrates, and recites the trademark giggle:

"Uh-ha-ha-ha-hee-hee!"

Usually not hostile, if it is not tickled in some time, it will attempt to add a new elbo.

Tickle Me Elbo

Large monstrosity, chaotic neutral

  • Armor Class 12 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 20 (4d8 + 2)
  • Speed 20ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 14 (+2) 12 (+1) 3 (-4) 3 (-4) 14 (+2)
  • Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Actions

Multiattack. The Tickle Me Elbo makes four Elbo attacks or one New Elbo each round.

Elbo. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 2) bludgeoning damage.

New Elbo. The Tickle Me Elbo can attempt to remove the arms of an unconscious creature. Move the Tickle Me Elbo on top of the creature and make an Elbo attack (with advantage) for each arm that the creature has. For each successful attack, the Tickle Me Elbo gains a new Elbo at the expense of the unconscious creature. The Tickle Me Elbo regenerates 1d6 hp per Elbo gained.

Running River

Wandering the valleys of the forgotten realms, the Running River travels fast and leaves few survivors. Sleeping in valleys and near the ocean, adventurers often fail to realize their mistakes until it is too late.

Running River

Huge monstrosity, Neutral

  • Armor Class 17
  • Hit Points 522 (55d12 + 165)
  • Speed 30 ft., swim 600 ft.
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
17 (+3) 13 (+1) 16 (+3) 3 (-4) 6 (-2) 1 (-5)
  • Saving Throws Con +5
  • Damage Vulnerabilities cold, fire
  • Damage Resistances force, thunder
  • Damage Immunities piercing, psychic, slashing
  • Senses blindsight 5 ft. (blind beyond this radius), tremorsense 120 ft., passive Perception 8
  • Languages —
  • Challenge 0 (10 XP)

Actions

Cry me a river. Target must succeed on a DC10 water saving throw or become grappled. While grappled, movement speed is zero. Grappled targets can attempt a DC(10+3*exhaustion level) to escape. On a failed save, they take one level of exhaustion. Grappled targets may also reveal one previously unknown part of their tragic backstory to escape without rolling to save.

Spring water. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 64 (6d20 + 1) 83 damage.

River Bash. Any entities in the river must make a dc20 Dexterity saving throw or begin immediately suffocating. To escape, another entity must use a help action or they must succeed on a DC15 Dexterity saving throw.

Lay low (Ritual). The river settles into the nearest low point of terrain within 30ft, and after 10 minutes takes the shape and appearance of a river. On a DC15 investigation check, players recognize that the river may not be as it seems. This disguise is lost after the river makes its first move or is attacked.

Legendary Actions

The monster can take 3 legendary actions, increasing by one each round (4 on the second round, 5 on the third, etc). These are chosen from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature's turn. The monster regains spent legendary actions at the start of its turn.

Water debris. Out of nowhere a tree branch appears and aims to hit the 3 nearest players (up to 200ft) to the Running River for a DC15 Dexterity save. On a success, the target is stunned and takes 1d4 force damage.

Running water. In a charge, the water stomps up to 20 ft towards the nearest player through any terrain, dealing 8d6 (28) water damage to any structure or entity in its path.

Lair Actions

When fighting inside any body of water, the monster can invoke the surrounding water to take lair actions. On initiative count 20 (losing initiative ties), the monster can take one lair action to cause one of the following effects:

  • The river grows by one size (From Huge to Gargantuan) for the next round, gaining 3d6 temporary hit points (stacking on any existing temporary HP).

  • The river raises out of the water, retaining its water speed for one round and displacing any occupants of the river 30ft to either side, dealing 2d6 force damage.

Encounter - Chess

From the king and queen to all to the lowly pawns, all members of court have their place on the chess board. Chess is a game familiar to the people of Faerûn, often referred to as lanceboard. This encounter could fit into many places in an adventure – best done in a 40 foot by 40 foot room, with 8 squares by 8 squares marked on the floor in alternate colours. Some suggestions are:

  • An enchanted room in a wizard’s tower
  • Guards for a dwarven workshop
  • A wits test for a wizarding school

While this encounter involves many hostile monsters, a key point is that they are restricted in the way they move and attack. Even though this encounter features sixteen constructs, the restriction in the way they move and attack puts the constructs at a significant disadvantage.

Optional: While in traditional chess, just one piece moves or captures each round, this encounter suggests that as an optional rule, only used if adventurers also adhere to just a single adventurer moving or attacking each round.

It is recommended that adventurers enter the room from the black side, encountering the white pieces and seeing the door to proceed behind the white pieces. The white pieces should make a single move to show how the game is played.

This page clarifies some rules, and how they should be used in this encounter.

Castling

Castling is an important move, used to protect the king. It can only be used if certain conditions have been met. When castling, the king moves 10ft towards the rook, and the rook moves 5ft adjacent to the opposite side of the king. The king may castle if it has not previously moved, if the rook the king is castling with has not yet moved, and if there are no obstructions between the king and the rook.

Promotion

When a pawn reaches the vertical end of the board, it can be ‘promoted’ to a Bishop, Knight, Rook, or Queen. The newly promoted piece keeps the initiative of the pawn and cannot move or take actions until the next round. Any damage and conditions do not carry over to the newly promoted piece. Pawns should typically be promoted to a Queen unless there is a good reason not to.

Moving and Attacking

Chess pieces can only move or attack. They cannot do both. Apart from the Knight, a construct’s movement can be interrupted by an impeding construct or enemy. If an adventurer is successfully attacked, they will be ‘taken’. The adventurer will take damage then be teleported to the entry of the room.

Checkmate

The encounter ends when the King is destroyed. When this occurs, all chess constructs turn to dust.

Pawn

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 33 (6d8 + 6)
  • Speed 5ft (10ft on first movement)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge 1 (200 XP)

Takes diagonally, one square forward.

Movement must be vertical and cannot be backwards.

Promotion When a pawn reaches the vertical end of the board, it can be ‘promoted’ to a Bishop, Knight, Rook, or Queen. The newly promoted piece keeps the initiative of the pawn and cannot move or take actions until the next round. Any damage and conditions do not carry over to the newly promoted piece.

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, one target. Hit: (1d6 + 2) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The Pawn can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is one square diagonally forward.

If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy. That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the pawn takes that enemy’s space.

If the Pawn moves, it cannot attack this round.

Bishop

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 66 (12d8 + 12)
  • Speed 35ft (Movement must be along a single diagonal line.)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
16 (+3) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, one target. Hit: (2d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The Bishop can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is on a square that it is able to move to. If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy.

That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the Bishop takes that enemy’s space.

If the Bishop moves, it cannot attack this round.

Knight

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 66 (12d8 + 12)
  • Speed 10ft (Movement must be 10ft exactly, comprised of moving 5ft diagonally and 5ft horizontally or vertically. Movement does not provoke opportunity attacks and the knight’s movement cannot be impeded.)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
16 (+3) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, one target. Hit: (2d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The Knight can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is on a square that it is able to move to. If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy.

That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the Knight takes that enemy’s space.

If the Knight moves, it cannot attack this round.

Rook

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 83 (15d8 + 15)
  • Speed 35ft (Movement must be along a single horizontal line or a single vertical line.)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
16 (+3) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge Challenge 3 (700 XP)

Castling If the Rook has not moved, it can assist a King in castling as a free action.

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, one target. Hit: (3d6 + 2) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The Rook can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is on a square that it is able to move to. If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy.

That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the Rook takes that enemy’s space.

If the Rook moves, it cannot attack this round.

Queen

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 132 (24d8 + 24)
  • Speed 35ft (Movement must be along a single horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line.)
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, one target. Hit: (4d6 + 4) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The Queen can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is on a square that it is able to move to. If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy.

That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the Queen takes that enemy’s space.

If the Queen moves, it cannot attack this round.

King

Medium construct, lawful

  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 83 (15d8 + 15)
  • Speed 5ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
18 (+4) 11 (0) 13 (+1) 1 (-5) 3 (-4) 1 (-0)
  • Damage Immunities Poison, Psychic
  • Condition Immunities Blinded, Charmed, Deafened, Exhaustion, Frightened, Paralyzed, Petrified, Poisoned, Prone
  • Senses Blindsight 60 Ft. (Blind Beyond This Radius), passive Perception 6
  • Challenge 4 (1,100 XP)

Challenge Protection. The King only takes damage from attacks that it was the target for. The King can only be targeted if there is an unobstructed path between the attacker and the King.

Checkmate. When the King is destroyed, all chess constructs turn to dust.

Castling. The king may castle if it has not previously moved, if the rook the king is castling with has not yet moved, and if there are no obstructions between the king and the rook. The king moves 10ft towards the rook, and the rook moves 5ft adjacent to the opposite side of the king.

Actions

Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, one target. Hit: (4d6 + 4) bludgeoning damage.

Reach: The King can only make a melee attack against an enemy that is on a square that it is able to move to. If the attack is successful, the piece ‘takes’ the enemy.

That enemy is teleported to the entry of the room and the King takes that enemy’s space.

If the King moves, it cannot attack this round.

New Character Race - Thirdling

An old sect of halflings, the thirdlings sought to join raiding goblins rather than defend against them. Many warlords of the goblin hordes were initially distrustful of defecting halflings. Traditionally, they asked such halflings to show some token of their seriousness, from committing to abstinence from alcohol, raiding innocent villages, or ritualistically consuming halfling meat. After such a ritual, biological changes start to occur in the halfling. Over time, the halfling loses height, their teeth sharpen, and their nose extends. The thirdlings have rejected their halfity, so their halfity rejects them. Thirdlings can be found in goblin caves, but some have also left in search of reclaiming their halfity. Unable to enjoy the ruins of the halfling hills that they helped destroy, thirdling communities can sometimes be found in the desert, arctic, or swamp environments.

Thirdlings Traits

Your thirdlings character has the following traits.

Ability Score Increase.

Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.

Alignment.

Thirdlings tend to be chaotic, willing to turn their back on the laws and traditions they were born into. As such, they tend to be evil, but some may have good intentions. Some thirdlings may feel genuinely feel remorseful.

Size.

Thirdlings are small, typically a third the height of humans.

Speed.

Your base walking speed is 25 feet.

Darkvision.

Your eyes have adjusted to life in a goblin cave, providing 30 feet darkvision.

Keen Smell.

Thanks to your impressively pointed nose, you have advantage on Wisdom (Perception), Wisdom (Survival), and Intelligence (Investigation) checks that involve smell.

Traitor to own kind.

NPCs of a good alignment will be cautious around dealing with a traitor to their own kind. Ability checks to persuade good-aligned NPCs of the nobleness of your cause are made at disadvantage. However, evil-aligned NPCs may see you as a tool to be used, giving you advantage to persuasion checks, although not always achieving your desired result on a success.

Nimble Escape.

You can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

Languages.

You can speak, read, and write Common and Halfling.

Thirdling Bandit

Small humanoid, any non-lawful alignment

  • Armor Class 13 (studded leather armor)
  • Hit Points 11 (2d8 + 2)
  • Speed 25ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
10 (+0) 14 (+2) 12 (+1) 9 (-1) 9 (-1) 9 (-1)
  • Senses passive Perception 9
  • Languages Common and Halfling
  • Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

Actions

Multiattack. The raider makes three melee attacks: two with its scimitar and one with its dagger. Or the captain makes two ranged attacks with its sling.

Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + 2) slashing damage.

Sling. Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 30/120 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 2) bludgeoning damage.

Thirdling Raider

Small humanoid, any non-lawful alignment

  • Armor Class 16 (studded leather armor)
  • Hit Points 65 (10d8 + 20)
  • Speed 25ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 17 (+3) 14 (+2) 13 (+1) 10 (+0) 13 (+1)
  • Saving Throws Str +4, Dex +5, Wis +2
  • Skills Athletics Perception +4, Deception +3
  • Senses passive Perception 14
  • Languages Common and Halfling
  • Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Actions

Multiattack. The raider makes three melee attacks: two with its scimitar and one with its dagger. Or the captain makes two ranged attacks with its sling.

Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + 3) slashing damage.

Dagger. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 3) piercing damage.

Sling. Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 30/120 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

Reactions

Parry. The captain adds 2 to its AC against one melee attack that would hit it. To do so, the captain must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.

Thirdling Cavalier

Small humanoid, any non-lawful alignment

  • Armor Class 18 (studded leather, shield)
  • Hit Points 57 (6d8 + 30)
  • Speed 25ft
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
14 (+2) 18 (+4) 18 (+4) 13 (+1) 14 (+2) 10 (+0)
  • Senses passive Perception 12
  • Languages Common and Halfling
  • Challenge 5 (1800 XP)

Born to the Saddle. The Cavalier has advantage on saving throws to avoid falling off its mount. If the Cavalier falls off its mount and falls no more than 10 feet, they can land on their feet, and they are not incapacitated.

Mounting or dismounting a creature only costs 5 feet of movement for the cavalier.

Unwavering Mark. When the Cavalier hits a creature with a melee weapon attack, that creature is marked until the end of your next turn.

While within 5 feet of the Cavalier, a creature marked has disadvantage on any attack roll that doesn't target the Cavalier.

In addition, if a creature marked by the Cavalier deals damage to anyone other than the Cavalier, the Cavalier can make a special (free action) melee weapon attack against the marked creature on the Cavalier’s next turn. The Cavalier has advantage on the attack roll.

Actions

Multiattack. The raider makes three melee attacks with its rapier. Or the raider makes two ranged attacks with its sling.

Rapier. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d8 + 4) slashing damage.

Dagger. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 3) piercing damage.

Sling. Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 30/120 ft., one target. Hit: (1d4 + 4) bludgeoning damage.

Reactions

Parry. The captain adds 2 to its AC against one melee attack that would hit it. To do so, the captain must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.

New Character Race - Squeeple

They bind themselves religious to a person and worship them as gods.

They are zealous fanatics and have a celebration at least each other day. They have a calendar and never forget a religious holiday.

The mice can be bribed with cheese and cake to delay celebration. If 1,000 mice worship someone, that individual will become a god. The mice can them turn into paladins and clerics and possess divine powers. They are indistinguishable from normal mice without their clothing, weapons, and armour.

Squeeple Traits

Your Squeeple character has the following traits.

Ability Score Increase

Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Dexterity score increases by 1.

Alignment

Squeeple tend to be lawful, with particular reverence for their religious leaders.

Size

Squeeple are tiny, biologically indistinguishable from mice.

Speed

Your base walking speed is 10 feet.

Darkvision

Your eyes have adjusted to life in dark places, providing 30 feet darkvision.

Keen Smell for Food.

Thanks to your need to find cheese and other foods by scent, you have advantage on Wisdom (Perception), Wisdom (Survival), and Intelligence (Investigation) checks that involve smelling for food.

Squeek!.

You can squeak! as an action and can move triple your movement speed until the end of the turn.

Brave.

You have advantage on saving throws against being frightened.

Widdle Mouse.

You can take the Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

Languages

You can speak, read, and write Common and one extra language of your choice.

New Spell List

Within the realm of the Material Plane and the ever expansive multiverse, there are ancient secrets and forgotten knowledge that is sprinkled throughout time. This document expands on such long-forgotten secrets.

School of Pandemology

Blessings, good karma, advantages, luck, good omens all resolve around the central idea of there are greater powers at play which manipulate the fabric of reality. Whether this is intentional or accidental is unclear. This school deals with the chaotic force of of the multiverse, the probability and possibility of everything and anything that exists that that will exist. Magical practitioners whom practice the usage of Pademology, understand the limitations of their own mortal shell, and use this power to bend reality to their whim.

List of Pandemology spells

Chaos String

cantrip pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 60 ft
  • Components: V
  • Duration: 1 Round

You yell gibberish at a creature within the range of the spell. The creature must make a Wisdom saving throw, on failure a string of chaos energy wraps around the target and deals 1d4 psychic damage and loses its bonus action on its next turn, as it continues to process what you had just said. On success, no effect.

This spells damage increases by 1d4 when you reach 5th Level (2d4), 11th level (3d4), and 17th level (4d4).

Enemies

cantrip pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 30 ft
  • Components: V, S
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

You cast this spell onto one creature of your choice. For the duration, you can choose to have that creature feel anger or hostility towards another creature of your choice also within the range of the spell. When the spell ends, the creature realizes that you used magic to influence its mood and becomes hostile toward you. A creature prone to violence might attack you. Another creature might seek retribution in other ways (at the DM’s discretion).

Chaos Orb

1st level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 60 ft
  • Components: V, M (a gem worth 50gp)
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

You create an orb of random elemental energy, roll based on the table below.

Chaos Orb Table

d10 Effect
1 Fire
2 Cold
3 Acid
4 Lightning
5 Thunder
6 Poison
7 Force
8 Psychic
9 Radiant
10 Necrotic

The orb appears within a space within the spells range. Once per turn as an action, including the turn of which you cast the spell, you can fire off a ray towards one creature you can see. Roll a ranged spell attack, on hit the creature takes 2d6 damage of the damage type rolled.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage increases by 1d6 per spell slot above 1st.

Lesser Random Artifice

1st level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: Special
  • Components: V, M, S (a platinum piece, which the spell consumes)
  • Duration: Special

When you cast this spell, the platinum piece raises above your head as a small 1ft by 1ft clown appears and laughs, as it spins a wheel of fate.

Roll a d10 to determine what happens.

Lesser Random Artifice Table

d10 Effect
1 You cast the spell Misty Step
2-3 You cast the spell Charm Person
4-5 You and two other creatures of your choice within 30ft gain 5 temporary hit points
6-7 A magical +1 weapon appears in your hands that you are proficient with using. The weapon lasts for 1 minute before disappearing
8-9 You cast the spell Burning Hands
10 Roll twice, ignoring duplicates

If the effect is not a spell that activates immediately, the effects remain for as long as you maintain concentration on the spell.

Devil's Luck

2nd level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
  • Range: Self
  • Components: V, M (a piece of paper)
  • Duration: Instantaneous

When you cast this spell, you have advantage on your next saving throw that you make. However, for the next saving throw after that you have disadvantage.

Gibberish

2nd level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 120 ft
  • Components: V, S
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

When you cast this spell, you yell nonsense towards one creature. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw, on failure begins to speak random words as well. For as long as you concentrate on this spell, effected creatures cannot use the verbal components of their spell or communicate normally. At the end of a effected creatures turn may make another Wisdom saving throw, ending the effect on a success.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each spell slot above 3rd.

Unofficial Displacement

3rd level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 120 ft
  • Components: V, S
  • Duration: 1 Round

When you cast this spell, you can displace the location of some creatures. Target up to three creatures you can see within the spells range, each creature must make a Charisma saving throw, on success no effect. On failure, you can teleport them up to 30 ft closer to you. At the end of your next turn, the creature's return to their original spots they were teleported from.

Anarch Blast

3rd level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 60 ft
  • Components: S, M (10 gp worth of a colored gem)
  • Duration: Instantaneous

The moment you cast this spell, you focus your arcane energy into the gem as a streak of energy fires from the gem to a point you choose within range, which then reverberates with a strange sucking sound. Each creature within in a 20-foot radius Sphere centered on that point must make a saving throw based on the gem used.

On a failed save, each creature takes 3d6 bludgeoning damage and takes an additional effect based on the table below. Half damage on success and no additional effect.

Anarch Blast Table

Gem Save Effect
Pearl Constitution 4d4 acid damage
Tourmaline Constitution 2d8 cold damage and has it's speed reduced by 10 ft until your next turn
Garnet Dexterity 4d6 fire damage
Sapphire Strength 2d4 force damage and is knocked prone
Citrine Dexterity 4d6 lightning damage
Jet Constitution 2d6 necrotic damage which is reduced from their maximum hit points
Amethyst Constitution 1d6 poison damage and is poisoned until your next turn
Jade Intelligence 3d4 psychic damage and has a 1d4 penalty on their next attack roll
Topaz Constitution 2d4 radiant damage and target is blinded until your next turn
Spinel Constituion 2d6 thunder damage and target is deafened until your next turn

Devil's Gamble

4th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: Touch
  • Components: V, M (25gp worth of gems)
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

The devil is singing in your ear, his voice whispers sweet things. You touch a willing creature and for the duration of the spell, at the beginning of the creatures turn they must roll 1d20. If the roll is 11-20, the creature has advantage on all attack rolls and saving throws until the end of the round. On a roll of a 1-10, they have disadvantage on all attack rolls and saving throws until the end of the round. Even if the spell is dispelled by the caster during the turn the creature has disadvantage, the effects remain until the end of the spells original duration.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each spell slot above 4th.

Encore

4th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Reaction
  • Range: 120 ft
  • Components: V, S
  • Duration: 1 Round

When you cast this spell, you begin to clap your hands in response to the actions of a creature.

Target one creature within the range of the spell, the creature must make a Wisdom saving throw, on failure suffer the spell's effect.

On the creatures next turn, it must use its action to repeat the same course of action it took during its previous turn, such as drinking a health potion, attacking a creature, taking the Dodge action, etc. Once the creature repeats the same action, the spell ends.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each spell slot above 4th.

Greater Random Artifice

4th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: Special
  • Components: V, M, S (25 platinum pieces, which the spell consumes)
  • Duration: Special

When you cast this spell, the platinum piece raises above your head as a small 5ft by 5ft clown appears and laughs, as it spins a wheel of fate.

Roll a d10 to determine what happens.

Greater Random Artifice Table

d10 Effect
1 You cast the spell Geas
2-3 You cast the spell Ice Storm
4-5 You and two other creatures of your choice within 30ft gain 15 temporary hit points
6-7 A magical +2 weapon appears in your hands that you are proficient with using. The weapon lasts for 1 minute before disappearing
8-9 You cast the spell Dimension Door
10 Roll twice, ignoring duplicates

If the effect is not a spell that activates immediately, the effects remain for as long as you maintain concentration on the spell.

Silios's Strange Pose

6th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 60 ft
  • Components: S
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

When you cast this spell, you feel yourself tap your feet and move your body in a fluid motion.

Choose up to six creatures within the range of the spell which all must make a Wisdom saving throw, on failure are paralyzed for the duration. You create a pose where you must stand still, all creatures who failed the saving throw mimic your pose and do not move as well. When you move or do anything else during your turn, the spell ends. At the end of a creatures turn, or when a creature takes damage they can repeat the saving throw, ending the effect on a success.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 7th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each spell slot above 7th.

Legendary Random Artifice

7th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: Special
  • Components: V, M, S (100 platinum pieces, which the spell consumes)
  • Duration: Special

When you cast this spell, the platinum piece raises above your head as a small 10ft by 10ft clown appears and laughs, as it spins a wheel of fate.

Roll a d10 to determine what happens.

Legendary Random Artifice Table

d10 Effect
1 You cast the spell Forcecage
2-3 You cast the spell Prismatic Spray
4-5 You and two other creatures of your choice within 30ft gain 30 temporary hit points
6-7 A magical +3 weapon appears in your hands that you are proficient with using. The weapon lasts for 1 minute before disappearing
8-9 You cast the spell Plane Shift centered on yourself
10 Roll two times, ignoring duplicates

If the effect is not a spell that activates immediately, the effects remain for as long as you maintain concentration on the spell.

Double or Nothing

7th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: Touch
  • Components: V, M (a twenty sided die)
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

When you cast this spell, the target is simultaneously blessed and cursed with immense power. When the creature makes an attack roll, if the creature rolls between a 11-20, the attack automatically becomes a critial hit. However, if the creature rolls a 1-10, they deal 0 damage and the attack is wasted.

While a creature is under the effect of this spell, they may only roll the dice once when making an attack roll, and take the flat number.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 9th level, you can target one additional creature.

Mimic

8th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Reaction
  • Range: 60 ft
  • Components: V, S
  • Duration: Instantaneous

Whenever you see a creature within the spells range cast a spell that is 7th level or lower, you can attempt to mimic their actions to recreate the spell.

The target must make a Dexterity saving throw, on success nothing happens. On failure, you manage to copy the spell. Both you and the target must make an Initiative check to see who is able to cast the spell first. If you roll higher than your target, you cast the spell before them, choosing different targets as you see fit. If you roll lower, you cast the spell after your target has cast their spell.

Door to Nothingness

8th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 15 ft
  • Components: V, S, M (a small doorframe worth 50gp, which the spell consumes)
  • Duration: Instantaneous

The moment you cast this spell, a chaotic idea springs into your mind. One creature within the range of the spell that has 100 hit points or fewer, is immediately is sucked into the small door frame that opens up into a portal that leads into nothingness. The creature is trapped within a demi-plane of your choosing, and is incapacitated.

The creature does not age or heal in any capacity, can't use spells to otherwise escape or teleport into another plane of existence. Once per year, the creature can make an Intelligence saving throw, on success the creature breaks free of the banishment. If you drop to 0 hit points or cast this spell again the trapped creature immediately returns to the spot it was banished from or the nearest unoccupied space, with the same amount of hit points it had before being banished. Alternatively, if a creature has fewer than 50 hit points when you cast this spell, the creature is reduced to nothingness and their essence is scattered across the multiverse, nothing short of a Wish spell can restore the soul of the creature.

Chaos Algorithm

9th level pandemology

  • Casting Time: 1 Action
  • Range: 120 ft
  • Components: V
  • Duration: Concentration, 1 Minute

As you cast this spell, you understand that both chaos and order are one of the same. This causes you for the duration of the spell, for as long as you concentrate on it to laugh uncontrollably. Each creature of your choice within the range of the spell that can hear you must make an Intelligence saving throw, or on failure begin to laugh uncontrollably as well.

While a creature aside from yourself is laughing uncontrollably, they cannot do anything else aside from laugh in the fetal position.

At the start of an effected creatures turn, they take 1d10 fire, 1d10 cold, 1d10 acid, 1d10 lightning, 1d10 thunder, 1d10 poison, 1d10 force, 1d10 psychic, 1d10 radiant and 1d10 necrotic damage, as a cacophony of the primal elements begins to engulf the creature. At the end of an affected creatures turn, they can make another Intelligence saving throw, ending the effect on a success and is immune to this spells effect for the next 24 hours.