We Be Goblins

Adventure Background

When the goblins of the Licktoad tribe in Brinestump Marsh discovered that one of their own could write, they had no choice—they ran him out of town, tore down his hut, and burned all of his stuff. Writing, after all, is bad mojo, since it can steal words out of your head and thus snatch away your soul. Yet while even the exiled goblin’s name is now taboo (he’s known today only as “Scribbleface,” after the Licktoads branded some of his precious words onto his forehead and cheeks to punish him for breaking custom), the wonders the goblins found in his house were significant.

For Scribbleface had kept more secrets than his writing.

Before the rest of his belongings were claimed or burned, the Licktoad goblins found a large trunk that contained several items of interest. To the majority of the tribe, it was the cache of exotic fireworks in the trunk that was the most impressive, but to the leaders of the tribe, it was the intriguing map (one that, fortunately, contained no writing, only nice, safe drawings and dotted lines). This map showed the extent of Brinestump Marsh, including the route from the Licktoad village to an old shipwreck near the coastline that - according to the drawings on the map, contained many more crates of fireworks. How Scribbleface had come into possession of the fireworks, the map, and this knowledge in the first place was largely irrelevant to the goblins, for if the spot marked on the map were to indeed lead to more fireworks, the Licktoads would be unstoppable!

Or, if not unstoppable, at least they’d be more firework rich! Think of all the longshank houses they could burn down with a big supply of fireworks!

Adventure Summary

In this adventure, the level 1 PCs take on the roles of Licktoad goblins, and are in fact counted among that tribe’s most powerful members. Chosen by the tribe’s chieftain as those best suited for an expedition to secure more fireworks from Scribbleface’s secret stash in the old shipwreck, the PCs take part in a celebratory feast and are offered numerous chances to prove their skill in a series of goblin dares. The next morning, the PCs are tasked with

the dangerous journey toward the coast. Upon reaching the site marked on the map, the PCs discover not only the location of a large stash of fireworks, but also the lair of one of the Licktoads’ most feared enemies - the cannibal goblin Vorka! In order to secure the Licktoads’ pride and good fortune by claiming the fireworks, the PCs must defeat the goblin cannibal and escape alive.

Introduction

Read the following to get your players started:

Meeting at the Moot House

Lying at the center of the village, the chief’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics - crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs). His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village from atop the great Teeter Chair, which is 6 feet high and allows him to more properly look down on his subjects. By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor, an overdressed, pompous goblin named Slorb, can handle the might of the chief’s words without fainting from fear.

When this adventure begins, the PCs have gathered before the entrance to the Moot House, awaiting invitation from Slorb to enter. Allow the players a moment to describe their goblin characters to each other - their characters all grew up in the same village, so they should already know each other and, indeed, should have some preconceived opinions about each other. Once the
players know who they are, a
high-pitched, nasal voice (chief
advisor Slorb) calls out for
them to enter.

Inside, Chief Gutwad sits
precariously atop the Teeter Chair.
Gutwad is a corpulent goblin who, in fact,
needs Slorb at hand only to aid in
climbing up into or out of the throne
(a fact that he’s taken care to hide
from the other goblins - very
few of whom have ever seen
him out of his chair). Slorb
asks the PCs to sit on the dirt
in front of the Chief (a great
honour!), but then, much to the
goblins’ surprise and shock, Chief Gutwad
speaks to them directly in a deep, booming voice.

Read the following to the players:

After the meeting, Chief Gutwad has little more time or patience to talk to the PCs. He has Slorb give the PCs the map to the fireworks cache, then orders them out of the Moot House.

What the Goblins Know

The PCs, being native to Brinestump Marsh, already know many of the dangers the swamp
presents, even if the players
themselves do not. If the players ask
about any of the following things,
allow them a check to know the
answers - if no PC succeeds at this
check, an hour or so of asking
around the village can provide
the answer.

Brinestump Marsh:

The marsh is a place of great bounty, with lots of places to hide and lots of delicious things to eat. Some of those                         things are kind of poisonous, though, so take care.                       One of the best things about the marsh is that                                       the humans don't normally come into it.                                         They’re afraid of the monsters.                                                       Which are a concern, but if you                                                           know about them before                                                                     they find out about you,                                                               running is always an                                                   option. Among the dangers that                                                   you can expect to face in the                                                 portion of Brinestump Marsh that                                       you’ll be heading through are wild dogs,                                 giant bugs, giant snakes, and giant frogs.                   Oh, and Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many.                           And maybe Vorka.

      Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many:

                                There are plenty of giant bugs in the                                         swamp, but of late, the giant spider                                           known as Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies                                       Many (known more often simply as “Lotslegs,”) is the most notorious. The giant spider lives somewhere in the marsh between the Licktoad village and the coast, and the route that Scribbleface’s map shows leads right through the giant spider’s territory.

Scribbleface’s Map:

The map is relatively simple, showing little more than the Licktoad village, the old shipwreck on the coast that supposedly contains the fireworks, and the creek that runs between the two locations. By following the creek, the PCs should be able to easily reach the old wreck. Unfortunately, the old wreck is also located in the part of the swamp that all Licktoads know to be the territory of Vorka the cannibal.

Vorka:

One of the greatest terrors of the swamp, at least to the Licktoads, is old Vorka, a ravenous cannibal goblin who, legend tells, was once the wife of a Licktoad chieftain. She murdered and ate that chieftain, as well as several other goblins, before she was driven out of town many years ago. Since then, the story says that she’s lived alone somewhere along the coast to the west of Licktoad village, and while she’s never returned, most goblins who go missing in that part of the swamp are assumed to have been eaten by the cannibal.

The Big Bonfire

Goblins toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a Desnan candle (see page 12 for rules         for this and several other fireworks). This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes) and gives the PCs a chance to enjoy being goblins, mingling with their kind as the evening     continues with feasting and dares. The chief brings out a       barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most                   goblins get drunk very quickly; those indulging in the             apples must make a DC 8 Constitution save to avoid             becoming sickened for 24 hours.

Dares

As the evening progresses, word that the PCs are going on a special quest spreads, and the other goblins of the tribe begin daring the PCs to show off their heroics. The PCs can indulge in these dares or not as they wish, though only one prize will be awarded per dare - since the prizes for completing the dares (supplied by the chief himself) are relatively significant rewards, participating and winning could make the difference between success or failure in tomorrow’s quest. As for why the chief doesn’t simply give these valuable tools to the PCs, well... that’s just not how things are done in the Licktoad tribe. The PCs are free to take a dare or not, but for every dare that is proposed with no PC stepping up to the challenge, the other Licktoads mock the PCs furiously. This mockery has no real
game effect, but try to make the players feel
bad about being cowards anyway!

Dance with Squealy Nord

The goblins describe Squealy Nord as
a fearsome boar who lives in a muddy
pit in the middle of the village, right
next to the goblin baby cages. In fact,
Nord is a hyperactive piglet escaped
from a nearby farm. His pit itself is
circular, nearly 20 feet in diameter, and
just over 10 feet deep. “Dancing with Squealy
Nord” requires a goblin to spend 18 seconds (3
rounds) riding on the piglet's back. Squealy Nord is tethered for this dare, then released into the pit from a narrow corral with the mounted goblin clinging onto his back and generally screaming a lot. A DC 15 Animal Handling check is required each round to stay on Nord’s back as he races about. With a failed check, the goblin is thrown and takes 1 (1d4 - 1) points of damage if he fails a DC 10 Dexterity save. Nord's innocent willingness to consume goblin corpses frightens the superstitious goblins enough that they haven't roasted him, but he won’t actually attack living goblins. The humiliation of falling off his back is painful enough. If a goblin lasts for at least 3 rounds on Nord’s back, he’s rewarded with a “Dragon Brew Gourd” (a potion of fire breath).

Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick

Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and, because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew. A covered wicker basket containing the slug bag is brought before the PC who accepts this dare, along with a napkin made out of a soggy leaf. The PC has 1 minute to eat an entire bag of bullslugs to win this dare. Eating the slugs is not a problem, even though they wriggle, taste of rotten fish, and burst with a little squeal when chewed. Eating a full bag in a minute is the hard part. There are five slugs in the bag, and successfully eating one requires a DC 15 Constitution save (this drops to a DC 10 Constitution save if the goblin doesn’t bother to spit out the slug’s mildly poisonous slime bladder - but neglecting to take care not to eat the slime bladder could have repercussions). Eating a slug is a full-round action (because             of the squirming), and a goblin who fails a save can                         attempt to swallow the same slug on the                                     following round. If the PC can make the five                               Constitution saves in a minute, they are                                     rewarded with a loan of the mighty                                             Gorge of Gluttons: a +1 shortsword that                                     becomes a +2 shortsword that inflicts                                     an additional 2d6 points of damage on                                  a successful hit when used against                                   horses. This weapon is owned by the chief,             and if the PCs don’t bring the weapon back to him, heads will roll.

At the end of the dare, if the eater opted for the easier DC 10 Constitution save when eating the slugs, she must make a final DC 15 Constitution save (with a cumulative -1 penalty for every DC 10 save they chose to make) to avoid becoming poisoned by slug slime for 24 hours.

Hide or Get Clubbed

This is the goblin version of hide and seek. The dare-taker rushes off into the marsh without any weapons and attempts to find a good hiding spot (make a Dexterity (Stealth) check to determine his success at hiding). The other goblins try to find him, and if they do, the finder is allowed to whack the previously hidden goblin with a club. Once the goblins start looking, roll 1d10 to determine how

many goblins come close enough to the hiding goblin to attempt Wisdom (Perception) checks to notice the hiding goblin. If a goblin finds the hidden goblin, the resulting club strike automatically inflicts 1 (1d4 - 1) points of damage. If no goblins find the hidden goblin, he wins a loan of the mystical Slippers That Let You Climb Real Good (slippers of spider climbing); like Gorge of Gluttons, these magic slippers are on loan from the chieftain’s treasury.

The Rusty Earbiter:

The infamous Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines that's kept behind the Moot House when not in use. So named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past (at any one time, 1d3 partially severed goblin ears can be found tangled in its sharp internal coils), the Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the Licktoads. The half-insane tinkerer who invented the thing has long since died (carried off one night by a giant bird of some sort after his first and only test of a prototype bird-attracting hat), but his legacy lives on. The other goblins cheer and hoot when one of the PCs is dared to crawl through the Rusty Earbiter, and a half-dozen eager goblins roll the 20 foot coil out from behind the Moot House with the typical number of slashed fingers and stabbed legs such a task normally brings. A PC who agrees to this dare must climb into one end of the Rusty Earbiter and then wriggle through it, coming out the other side. There’s no time limit to get this done, but the faster the better! Climbing through the Rusty Earbiter requires a series of three DC 14 Dexterity (Acrobatics) checks as the goblin must writhe through a series of tight squeezes. Each check takes 1 full round to attempt, and each one must be repeated until a successful check is made before moving on to the next one (or, in the case of the last check, successfully crawling out the far end of the tube). If the PC fails more than three checks, the other goblins get bored, throw a few small rocks, and wander off; after that point it doesn’t matter if the goblin gets out or not, although if she gets stuck for a few days, someone might help. But probably not. Each failed check causes 1 (1d4 - 2) points of damage (a result of less than 1 point of damage indicates no damage is taken) from the Rusty Earbiter's spiky spikes. PCs who smear their heads with pig fat, mud, or some other slippery substance gain a +2 bonus on all Dexterity checks to navigate the Rusty Earbiter. If the PC manages to escape the Earbiter before the other goblins get bored, she wins the use of one of the tribe's most coveted items, the Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful. This is a robe of useful items that has only four patches left - a ladder, a three-legged turtle, a horseshoe, and a bullhorn.

Into Brinestump

The PCs are expected to set off into Brinestump Marsh the next morning, lingering sickness from the previous night’s party or not. The PCs are brought before the chief again at dawn, whereupon he instructs them to “get fireworks and bring them here to me.” To help them, he gives the PCs the remaining fireworks from Scribbleface’s stash - two Desnan candles, four paper candles, and a skyrocket. See page 12 for rules for these fireworks. The journey to the fireworks stash, as indicated on the map, is relatively short; a slog not quite a mile long through the swamp along the creek’s southern bank. The journey takes only an hour to make. The marsh itself is relatively difficult to navigate,

with numerous stretches of deep water that must beskirted and thick tangles of stinging nettles, but the PCs should have only one significant encounter along the way, a run-in with the giant spider known as Lotslegs.

Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many

The giant spider known as Lotslegs has dwelt in central Brinestump for years, but only recently has she grown large enough to become a legitimate threat to the Licktoad goblins. The spider often lurks along creeks and other well-traveled routes, and her growing taste for goblins has evolved beyond eating goblin young. At about the halfway point on their journey, the PCs stumble directly into Lotsleg's territory. The spider herself is a web-spinning spider that lurks in the treetops, climbing down to attack unwary goblins who pass under her ambush. She attempts to flee to safety if reduced to 4 hit points or fewer.

Lotslegs’ lair is not far from her ambush point; about 200 feet directly south of the creek. If the PCs force the spider to flee, following her to the lair is possible if the PCs can keep up with the fleeing spider, or if they can make a DC 10 Survival check to track her progress through the soggy, mossy tree branches. The lair itself consists of a deadfall of several old trees. Scattered amid the trees are dozens of bodies, some of which are goblins, but a few of which are humans. A DC 12 Perception check locates the following items among the bodies: 24 gp, a light crossbow with 11 walloping bolts (DC 10 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone), a single pearl worth 100 gp, 2 potions of healing, a potion of heroism, a potion of vitality, and a wax paper sealed package containing six pieces of licorice flavoured taffy (this taffy is strong enough to remove any lingering poisonned effects left over from the previous night’s bonfire events).

Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many

Large beast, unaligned

---

• Armor Class 14 (natural armour)
• Hit Points 26 (4d10 + 4)
• Speed 30 ft., climb 30 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
14 (+2)	16 (+3)	12 (+1)	2 (-4)	11 (+0)	4 (-3)

---

• Skills Stealth +7
• Senses blindsight 10 ft., darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 10
• Languages —
• Challenge 1 (200 XP)

---

Spider Climb. The spider can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Web Sense. While in contact with a web, the spider knows the exact location of any other creature in contact with the same web.

Web Walker. The spider ignores movement restrictions caused by webbing.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5ft., one creature. Hit 7 (1d8 + 3) piercing damage, and the target must make a DC 11 Constitution saving throw, taking 9 (2d8) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If the poison damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralysed while poisoned in this way.

Web (Recharge 5-6). Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, range 30/60 ft., one creature. Hit: The target is restrained by webbing. As an action, the restrained target can make a DC 12 Strength check, bursting the webbing on a success. The webbing can also be attacked and destroyed (AC 10; hp 5; vulnerability to fire damage; immunity to bludgeoning, poison, and psychic damage).

The Old Shipwreck

The point indicated on Scribbleface’s map isn’t quite on the coast, but it’s close enough to hear the faint susurrus of waves crashing on an unseen swampy shoreline. The site itself is obvious once it is approached—a large wrecked ship lodged in a shallow pool of swamp water. Driven aground decades ago during a particularly violent storm that flung the ship several hundred feet into the flooded swamp, the ship itself is a two-masted Chelish sailing vessel with strange, faded writing on its bow (this name, written in Tien, reads Kaijitsu Star, although the chances of a goblin being able to read Tien words are small). The

ship itself is quite old, it crashed here several decades ago. Although much of the Kaijitsu Star’s decor has faded, and most of her truly valuable supplies were taken by her surviving crew after the wreck many years ago, here and there remain faint and subtle hints that the ship may have once been a work of beauty. The primary thing that should concern the goblins, however, is the fact that the wreck is now the lair of the goblin cannibal Vorka.

The shipwreck itself is upright, held in place by the mud and sludge it now sits in and supported by thick growths of marsh gorse and other foliage. The derelict leans toward its stern at a noticeable but not unwieldy angle, and its railings are as decorated with hanging moss as they are with goblin skulls and bits of bone—leftovers from Vorka’s meals over the past several years. The horror surrounding Vorka goes beyond her dietary preference, for she also keeps a dog and even a horse as pets and guardians, creatures traditionally feared and hated by goblins. As the PCs approach, you can start to play upon these fears by describing the sinister barking or neighing of large, frightening animals coming from the direction of the wreck. Fortunately for the shipwreck’s inhabitants, the entire thing is far too damp to burn, should the PCs attempt to light the structure on fire.

1. The Horrid Horse Pen

Vorka keeps a horse in the fenced-in area surrounding the ship, she often needs to sneak out of the marsh to find replacement horses, though, for she doesn’t treat these “pets” very well. The horse is a filthy, dark gray stallion whose feet have churned the region within the fenced area into a thick morass of mud. While the horse, which Vorka calls “Stomp,” is afraid of the cannibal, its foul temper becomes all too apparent when presented with other targets - like the PC goblins. Stomp should be positioned on the far side of the wreck when the PCs first approach, only to come sloshing around the corner, ready to attack any intruders, as soon as the PCs are thick in the mud.

Stomp

Large beast, unaligned

---

• Armor Class 11
• Hit Points 19 (3d10 + 3)
• Speed 60 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
18 (+4)	12 (+1)	13 (+1)	2 (-4)	12 (+1)	11 (+1)

---

• Skills Intimidation +3
• Senses passive Perception 11
• Languages —
• Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

---

Trampling Charge. If the horse moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with a hooves attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 14 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the horse can make another attack with its hooves against it as a bonus action.

Actions

Hooves. Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d6 + 4)

2. Front Gangplank

The gangplank
is very
steep and requires a
DC 10 Strength (Athletics)
check to ascend. The
ball of mud on the bow can
be identified as a
wasp nest with a DC
12 Intelligence (Nature) check.
Although the nest can be
avoided physically, it’s
attached to the vines that grow
on the gangplank, and rigged to
detach from the railing soon after
the first person ascends.

One round after the first
person triggers the trap, the
vines suddenly snap taut and
knock the wasp nest off the
railing, causing it to fall
onto the gangplank. A person
in the square at the bottom of
the gangplank can catch the
falling hive with a DC 15
Dexterity saving throw (after
which he can set it down on

the ground gingerly and not worry about the rest of the trap’s effects), but otherwise the nest smashes and releases a cloud of angry wasps. This isn’t a fully fledged wasp swarm, but it does affect all targets within a 5 foot radius. Any creature in this area when the trap is triggered is stung several times, taking 5 (2d4) piercing damage. The wasps quickly disperse after their nest is destroyed.

3. Upper Deck

Scabtongue and Tickletooth

Medium beast, unaligned

---

• Armor Class 12
• Hit Points 5 (1d8 + 1)
• Speed 40 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
13 (+1)	14 (+2)	12 (+1)	3 (-4)	12 (+1)	7 (-2)

---

• Skills Perception +3
• Senses passive Perception 13
• Languages —
• Challenge 1/8 (25 XP)

---

Keen Hearing and Smell. The dog has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on hearing or smell.

Actions

  Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft.,   one target. Hit: 4 (1d6 + 1) piercing damage. If       the target is a creature, it must succeed on a           DC 11 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

Although the slimy green algae that seems to coat almost every surface of the upper deck might look dangerous, it is not in fact actual green slime. Two of Vorka’s feral dogs live on this upper deck - one a mangy hound with one blue eye and one brown eye and the other a scruffy mongrel with a crooked tail. Both are quite feral and half-starved, chained to different masts via 20-foot-long rusty chains. The mangy hound is chained to the central mast on the upper deck, while the scruffy mongrel is chained to the a mast below.               If the PCs taunt the dogs beyond the limit of the                         feeble chains, the dog can attempt a DC 18 Strength check to break free of the chain and attack.

4. Rigging

These two crow’s nests are often used by Vorka as places to commune with the marsh, up here she feels close to the surrounding terrain. She might also attempt to flee up here to escape melee with the PCs if a fight spills up onto the deck.

It’s a DC 5 Strength (Athletics) check to clamber up to the stern platform using the dangling ropes, or a DC 15 Strength (Athletics) check to ascend the central masts or the stovepipe (which lack climbing ropes). Crossing to the nests via the rigging takes a DC 10 Strength (Athletics) check.

Vorka uses these platforms now and then, and she has absentmindedly left a few valuables on each. The central platform contains two vials of alchemist’s fire, a half-finished bottle of grog, and three Desnan candles. The stern platform contains a sling and a dozen sling stones.

5. Galley

This room is used today by Vorka to prepare her meals, including her semi-monthly cannibal repasts. She doesn’t always catch her ingredients from the Licktoad tribe, but those goblins are by far her favorite flavour. Vorka’s not normally a glutton - she can make a single goblin last for 2 to 3 weeks if she has to. Unfortunately for poor Scribbleface, who after his exile returned to the
wreck hoping to sneak in and steal some
more fireworks, Vorka’s hunger was strong
earlier this month. His left arm and heart
are currently stewing in the cauldron,
while the bloody burlap sack contains
the rest of his body, including his
uniquely branded face. Scribbleface's
hideous fate should serve as yet further
proof to the PCs that writing words can, in
the end, only bring you bad luck - or worse!
Vorka keeps her third (and favorite) pet dog,
a hulking, rheumy-eyed, lumbering cur
bigger than most goblins, in this room. The
dog's name is Cuddles, and while it is
well-trained (to the extent that it doesn’t
bother the large number of bones and other
normally irresistible dog distractions in this
room), intruding goblins other than its beloved

mistress Vorka quickly arouse its wrath. The dog barks furiosly upon sighting such intruders before it lunges forth to attack.

Cuddles

Medium beast, unaligned

---

• Armor Class 12 (natural armour)
• Hit Points 19 (3d8 + 6)
• Speed 40 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
15 (+2)	15 (+2)	15 (+2)	2 (-4)	12 (+1)	6 (-2)

---

• Saving Throws Dex +4, Con +4
• Skills Acrobatics +4, Perception +3, Survival +3
• Senses passive Perception 13
• Languages —
• Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

---

Keen Hearing and Smell. The dog has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on hearing or smell.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5ft., one target. Hit: 9 (2d6 + 2) piercing damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 12 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

6. Vorka’s Cabin

This cabin is where Vorka and her animal companion, a giant frog she calls “Lord Longtung”, sleep and relax. It’s                                         also where the cannibal is located                                             when the PCs first arrive at the site,                                         sleeping off a long night of vile rituals             and food preparation. Every encounter that the PCs                                       trigger abovedecks or outside brings a                                     cumulative 25% chance of awakening                               Vorka, at which point she prepares herself                                   for conflict as detailed in the tactics                                         section of her statistics before climbing                                     upstairs to seek out the cause of the                                       commotion. On her own, Vorka is a                                           dangerous foe, but if the PCs face her                                             while some of her animal friends are                                       handy, that encounter can quickly                                             become overwhelming. Vorka won’t                                               leave her home to pursue foes, her

arrogance is such that if the PCs flee, she’ll cackle and hurl threats but not much else after them,
allowing the PCs a second (and perhaps a
third or even a fourth) attempt to defeat
or evade her and secure her treasure
of fireworks. Vorka is particularly frightening,
especially to goblins who know of the stories
that paint her in a cannibalistic light.
Unfortunately for any goblins who might
meet her, those stories, if anything,
downplay her ferocity. Her mouth is
her most fearsome feature - it's a bit too
wide, even by goblin standards, and
Vorka's habit of filing her
already sharp teeth has
resulted in a snaggletooth grin
of mismatched teeth that leaves
little doubt as to her preference for tough,
stringy meat. Like goblin meat. She wears
rags and bits of stained cloth - trophies
harvested almost at random from her hapless victims,
over her equally patchwork leather armor.

Vorka

Small humanoid (goblinoid), neutral evil

---

• Armor Class 13 (leather), 16 (barkskin)
• Hit Points 27 (5d6 + 10)
• Speed 30 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
10 (+0)	14 (+2)	14 (+2)	8 (-1)	15 (+2)	11 (+0)

---

• Saving Throws Dex +4, Con +4, Wis +4
• Skills Animal Handling +4, Athletics +4, Nature +1
• Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 12
• Languages Goblin
• Challenge 1 (200 XP)

---

Spellcasting. Vorka is a 3rd level spellcaster. Her spellcasting ability is Wisdom (spell save DC 12, +4 to hit with spell attacks). Vorka has the following druid spells prepared:

Cantrips (at will): guidance, infestation, produce     flame, resistance
1st level (4 slots): animal friendship, create or         destroy water, cure wounds
2nd level (3 slots): heat metal, spider climb

Actions

Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d6 + 2) slashing damage.

Dart. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft. or range 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) piercing damage.

Items

3 potions of healing, 2 potions of barkskin, Desnan candle

While her exact outfit can change in this manner depending on who her latest meals may have been, the one       part of her apparel that never changes is her floppy,                                           pointy leather hat; a hat Vorka stole                                           from a human traveller and made crude                                 alterations to in order to make it fit her                                     large, misshapen head.

                                Before combat, Vorka drinks a potion of                         barkskin as soon as she realizes her home is                               under attack, then casts spider climb and                                       produce flame before venturing forth to                                     confront the intruders.

During combat, she periodically threatens goblin enemies     by describing how she thinks they’ll taste, or preselecting             choice cuts by saying things like, “Those ears might                       taste fine stuffed with eyes.” She begins combat                     by using her first action to light her Desnan                             candle to fire at the PCs. She uses spider climb if   possible to retain range on the PCs so she can cast infestation, leaving the task of melee combat to her animal companion, Lord Longtung..

Lord Longtung

Medium beast, unaligned

---

• Armor Class 13 (natural armor)
• Hit Points 30 (4d8 + 12)
• Speed 30 ft., swim 30 ft.

---

STR	DEX	CON	INT	WIS	CHA
16 (+3)	14 (+2)	16 (+3)	1 (-5)	9 (-1)	6 (-2)

---

• Saving Throws Dex +4, Con +5, Wis +1
• Skills Acrobatics +4, Athletics +5, Perception +1, Stealth +4
• Senses passive Perception 11
• Languages —
• Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

---

Keen Smell. The lord longtung has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell.

Actions

Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 10 (2d6 + 3) piercing damage.

Tongue. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 15 ft., one target. the target is grappled (escape DC 13), or pulled 5 feet towards lord longtung.

During combat, Vorka’s lucky frog does as it is told, attacking in the confines of the bridge or using its tongue to attack those climbing the rigging. If Vorka is slain, Lord Longtung flees into the marsh to soon die of a broken heart...

Treasure

The man-things objects that once belonged to the crew of Kaijitsu’s Star but were left behind when the crew abandoned ship are certainly worth something. The majority of these objects are filthy and broken, but 10 minutes or so of sorting and scavenging turns up some interesting finds. All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas; not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed. Even the filthy or broken clutter here could be worth about 600 gp to the right collector, but as they are mostly made of bamboo, exotic wood, and in some cases paper, they’re probably more fun to burn. Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and a philter of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).

The red chest, though, is the object of the PCs’ quest. Unlocked, it contains several fireworks. The chest itself is heavy and worth 150 gp, and there were obviously once many more fireworks within (Scribbleface managed to steal many of them by sneaking into this room while Vorka was out hunting), but those that remain should be more than enough to satisfy the chief for at least a few days. The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets.

Conclusion

If the PCs manage to get the fireworks back to their village without using them all or “accidentally” setting them off, they can return as heroes; if they don’t, they’d best not return at all, for the chief makes good on his threat and has the PCs imprisoned and, eventually, fed to Squealy Nord. If the PCs do return triumphantly, a big feast is given in their honor, and His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad decides the lucky male PC who played the most prominent role (your choice) should marry his daughter, the fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits. The remaining PCs are given prominent tribal positions as well, with names like Head Village Watcher, Overseer of Village Stabbings, Master of the Pig Pit, or even a brand new title like Boss of Big Fire.

What the goblins do with the fireworks they recover, and what happens when they figure out the meaning of the images and map symbols scribbled onto the back of the ivory fan found in Vorka’s den, sets into motion a series of events that will have repercussions far beyond Brinestump Marsh, in the distant land of Minkai.

Fireworks

• Desnan Candle (5 gp): When lit, this foot-long wooden tube launches a flaming pyrotechnic “candle” every round for 4 rounds. Each projectile deals 1 point of damage and 1 point of fire damage if it hits; on a critical hit, the target is also blinded for 1 round. The projectiles shed light as candles for 1 round and have a range increment of 5 feet. Attacking with a Desnan candle is a ranged attack and the user is not proficient.
  
  
• Paper Candle (1 gp): This finger-sized explosive detonates noisily 1 round after lighting. Anyone in the same square as a paper candle when it explodes must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or be blinded for 1d4 rounds.
  
  
• Skyrocket (50 gp): When lit, this foot-long wooden tube begins to shake and emit a handful of white sparks, shedding light as a torch. One round later it takes flight, moving in a straight line with a fly speed of 90 for 1d6 rounds before loudly exploding in an burst of light and sound, dealing 2d6 points of fire damage in a 10 foot burst (DC 15 Dexterity saving throw for half damage). If a skyrocket impacts a solid surface or a creature before reaching its maximum range, it detonates prematurely at the point of impact. Anyone who takes damage from the explosion is either blinded or deafened (a 50% chance of either) for 1 round.

Characters

This is an adventure for four level 1 goblin characters. Each should possesses a unique goblin trait, however the players should also be allowed to create their own goblin characters, either using the template in Volo's Guide to Monsters, Mordenkainen Presents: Monsters of the Multiverse or the ones in the Unearthed Arcanas, Plane Shift: Zendikar or Plane Shift: Ixalan, if you're comfortable with playtest material in your games. Players should be encouraged to create an inventory full of worthless items that only a goblin could see value in.

Below is a d100 table of new goblin traits. They are not balanced and some are better than others, but the life of a goblin isn't fair either. Some are weird, some are nasty, and some are a double-edged dogbiter. If characters want to roll for a random trait or two, it is suggested that this is done before character creation, as they may well shape how a player builds their goblin.