Main Rules

1. The Rules Rule

The rules take priority in the order they are written and will overwrite later rules that clash.

(not even Gary Chess can overwrite this rule)

2. Hex = S*x

The lord decree the square to be square. The chessboard shall henceforth be made from hexes.

3. Two Pieces, the sequel to classic turns

Players can choose to move two different pieces on their turn.

4. The Cinderblock

The cinderblock is not to be trifled with. Do not talk to the cinderblock, do not pass go, avert your gaze from the cinderblock, do not mention the cinderblock.
To use the cinderblock, silently pick it up and drop it on finger. Using the cinderblock counts as moving a piece.

(Gary Chess too, fears the cinderblock)

5. The Brick

The brick can be used against your own pipi. Using the brick counts as moving a piece. If one does not own a pipi, a friend’s pipi can be supplemented.

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7. Turn 1 is for winners, Turn 2 is for whiners

The player that moves first is not based on which set of pieces they choose but instead through a game of Chess 1 where the winner of that game goes first in Chess 2.

8. How 2 win chess 2

He
Hey gyu
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i’m going to show you how 2 win a game of chess 2

First go to

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Pieces Rules

1. The Pieces Rules Rule

The Pieces rules cannot overwrite the main rules.
(Gary Chess can overwrite this rule but only during a game and only for that game)

2. Meet the Pieces

King. The king can move any number of spaces in any of the six directions. If both the king and queen are slain, the game is over and you have been promoted to stupid.

Queen. The queen can move any number of spaces in any of the six directions. If both the king and queen are slain, the game is over and you have been promoted to dementia.

Priest. The bishop can move 1 space in any direction. When the bishop is struck down, divine intervention is enacted on the attacker and they are taken as a result.
(too old for vacation sorry)

Tower. The tower cannot move any spaces at all. Pieces can be placed on the tower as if it were an empty space. If the tower is taken, the piece inside is safely moved to any adjacent space.
(it’s a f#cking building you cretin what did you expect?)

Knight. Moves two spaces in any direction and then 1 space in a different direction, can jump over other pieces.
(has drip)

Peasant. Can only move one space in a direction towards another piece. Cannot take other pieces but can be extremely annoying.

3. Promotion, Demotion and Retiring

The king and queen has access to multiple options alongside moving/taking.

• Instead of moving, they may promote the closest peasant to a knight.
• Instead of moving, they may demote the closest piece to a peasant.
• Instead of moving, they may promote the neerest knight to either a queen or kind and retire themselves.

 

 

Common Questions

(probably idc tbh)

Why can’t the pirest piece move more spaces?

This priest is old and has knee problems, can you get off his case for once in your miserable life.

Why?

idk…