Mister of Light
2nd-level conjuration
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 30 feet
- Components: V, S, M (a gallon of water, which is consumed)
- Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes
A brilliant hose of light comes forth from the upper planes. For up to 10 minutes, the hose dispenses a cool, refreshing mist in a 20-foot radius. Any creatures within the area of effect have resistance to fire damage and do not suffer penalties from being in hot environments. The Mister can be dispelled early as a bonus action.
Storm of the Gifling
3rd-level conjuration
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 60 feet
- Components: V, S, M (a piece of parchment, a quill, and ink, which are consumed)
- Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour
You summon a Halfling who specializes in correct pronunciation of ambiguous terms known as a Gifling. The Gifling will attempt to accurately, definitively, aggressively, and passionately persuade all creatures within a 30 foot radius of the correct pronunciation of the word "gif" in a rapid-fire verbal storm. Use 1d2 to determine the Gifling's preferred pronunciation: a one will use "gif," while a two will use "gif." If there is another Gifling in the area of effect who has chosen the opposite pronunciation, the two will squabble until the spell expires or one of them is dismissed as a bonus action. All creatures in a 30 foot radius from the Gifling must make an Intelligence saving throw. On a failed save, the creature takes 4d6 psychic damage and is stunned for 1 round. A succesful save takes half damage and is not stunned. The Gifling is unable to move from its original casting point.
Chorus of the Dave
3rd-level evocation
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Self
- Components: V
- Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute
You begin singing about the glories of the legendary bard known as "The Dave". All creatures you choose within 20 feet of you are inspired by The Dave's heroics and receive advantage on all attack and damage rolls. Once a creature has been inspired by The Dave, it cannot be inspired again until after a long rest.
Wall of Distraction
2nd-level conjuration
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Self
- Components: V, S
- Duration: 1 minute
You summon a wall that is 20 feet wide and 5 feet thick and blocks movement. The wall rapidly flashes bright, garish colors and emits strange, unnatural sounds. All creatures within 30 feet of the wall must make a Dexterity saving throw to look away and cover their ears. On a failed save, the creature is blinded, deafened, and stunned for the duration. A successful save results in no negative effects. A creature may repeat the saving throw at the end of their turn.
Shield of Farts
2nd-level abjuration
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Touch
- Components: V, S, M (a shield or buckler, and a stink bug which is consumed)
- Duration: 1 minute
You touch a shield and imbue it with this special effect. Any time a creature makes a melee attack and misses the target by 2 or less, a noxious cloud is released in a 10 foot cone in the direction of the attacker. Any creature within the cone must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, the creature spends its round reeling from the incredible smell. Creatures that do not need to breathe are immune to the effects of the spell.
Song of the Darn
1st-level transmutation
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Touch
- Components: V, M (a roll of yarn and a set of darning needles)
- Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes
While singing this song, you are able to darn a pair of socks. At the end of the duration, you will have created a new pair of socks. Stopping the spell early and starting again later will pick up the progress from where you left off.
Summon Storm Bear
5th-level conjuration
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 60 feet
- Components: V, S, M (a patch of bear fur and a topaz worth 200 gp)
- Duration: 1 hour
You call forth a dire bear from the elemental plane of air. The creature has the statistics of a Dire Bear, but with the following modifications: Absorbs lightning damage, immune to thunder damage, is resistant to slashing, piercing, and bludgeoning damage from non-magical weapons, has a movement speed of 60 feet, and its attacks deal an additional 1d10 lightning damage. Due to the effort required to summon such a creature, you cannot summon another one until after a short or long rest.
Charm of the Dave
5th-level enchantment
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Self
- Components: V
- Duration: 1 hour
You channel the beguiling charm of the legendary Bard known as "The Dave." For the next hour, your Charisma score is 22, and you have advantage on all Charisma(persuasion) checks. If you do not have proficiency with Charisma(persuasion), you gain proficiency. When the spell ends, your Charisma score becomes 8 for 1 hour, and you have disadvantage on all Charisma(persuasion) checks before your Charisma score and proficencies return to normal.
Hail to the Dave
2nd-level divination
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: Self
- Components: V
- Duration: Instantaneous
You greet another creature with a Hail to the legendary Bard known as "The Dave." Upon speaking this spell, you immediately are able to discern if this creature has heard of The Dave.
Grasping Light
5th-level evocation
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 120 feet
- Components: V, S
- Duration: Instantaneous
You send out 4 beams of intense light towards a target creature. Make a ranged spell attack roll for each beam. You may make target a number of creatures equal to the number of beams. On a hit, the target takes 3d8 radiant damage and is restrained until the end of its next turn.
At higher levels: Add one additional beam of light for each spell level above 5th
Storm of the Dave
6th-level illusion
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 5 feet
- Components: V, S, M (a dozen patches of cloth)
- Duration: 1 minute
You summon a dozen exact illusory replicas of the legendary Bard known as "The Dave." Choose up to twelve creatures that can see the Daves and are hostile towards you. For one minute, the Daves attempt to confuse the creatures you chose. Creatures affected by this spell must make an Intelligence saving throw or be unable to directly attack or damage the caster and their allies. On a successful save, the creature is able to ignore the distraction. If the illusions take any damage, they dissipate immediately.
Death of the Sun
9th-level evocation
- Casting Time: 1 hour
- Range: Special
- Components: V, S, M (diamonds worth 10,000 gp, one scale from each of the metallic dragons, a torch, a black sheet, a soulstone with a soul trapped inside, a drop of the blood of the caster, all of which are consumed by the spell)
- Duration: Until dispelled
You cast a spell that blots out the sun starting where you are and spreading across the entire planet over the course of a day. A thick, sheet-like substance covers the planet, dramatically lowering temperatures and plunging the world into complete darkness. After the spell is cast, you may spend one hour to thin or thicken a one square mile section of the obstruction, allowing more or less light in over a specific area. This spell is tied to your life force. Only your death, divine intervention, or a wish spell can dispel it. Upon casting the spell, you immediately take 10d10 necrotic damage due to the intense strain the spell takes on your body. This damage cannot be mitigated in any way. If the damage causes you to die, the spell immediately fails.
Remorse?
4th-level enchantment
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 30 feet
- Components: V
- Duration: 1 minute
You ask one target creature within range if they truly regret their actions. The target creature must make a Wisdom saving throw or be incapacitated, wracked by intense internal conflict over their past actions for the duration of the spell. The target may repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn.
At higher levels Target one additional creature for each level above 4th this spell is cast
Daving Fire
3rd-level illusion
- Casting Time: 1 action
- Range: 30 feet
- Components: V, S
- Duration: 10 minutes
You summon a half dozen figures made out of fire that look like the legendary Bard known as "The Dave." The figures dance and flicker in a 30 foot area, shedding bright light throughout, and dim light out to 60 feet. If the creatures take damage of any kind, they immediately dissapate.